Phew. Long day down at the Whitman County Courthouse, where tonight I legally changed my name to Grady Ocho Cinco. I think it has a nice ring to it.

But hey, how about California Golden Blogs' [unnecessary pluralization sic] WSU/Cal Q&A? See, it's funny because the Cougar is an animal and a slang term for an attractive older woman. LOL! And the best part is, no one has ever, in the history of time, made that connection before. Pure brilliance.

Last week was a tune up - two good games (OSU/Stan, UCLA/Tenn) and a whole lotta blowouts. It's week two - this time it counts. Or at least for the Cougs it finally counts in the Pac-10 standings, where we, incredibly enough, only need nine more wins to qualify for a BCS Bowl Game. But, as usual, I will cop out on that prediction until my game preview.

So, for now, you are forced to sit through my predictions for the remaining conference games. Both L.A. teams are off, meaning the national media can care even less about the conference this week. But get through my picks, and you'll be rewarded. Trust me.

#15 BYU (-9) at Washington - If that line doesn't signify everything that's gone wrong with the Tyrone Willingham era, I don't know what else will. Remember when EA would rank the top 25 places to play in NCAA Football, and consistently overrate Husky Stadium? Now I'm afraid the oddsmakers have underrated it. The Dawgs may surprise everyone again, like last year against Boise State, before fading back into obscurity. But I still think they lose. BYU 30, Washington 24.

Oregon State at #19 Penn State (-16.5) - Lack of institutional control may join lack of bladder control on the list of Joe Paterno's most pressing concerns. Zing! Take that, geriatrics! Penn State 31, Oregon State 14.

Utah State at #18 Oregon (-36) - Ah, Utah State. The one team I can consistently crush playing as Idaho on NCAA Football. Oregon 49, Utah State 10.

Toledo at Arizona (-23) - The Mike Stoops "save my job" tour continues. And unlike Ty, Stoops will probably pull it off. Arizona 35, Toledo 17.

Stanford at #15 Arizona State (-14) - Wait, Arizona State is #15 too? Both ASU and BYU received 672 points in the AP poll. But I digress - this week is the week we see the real Sun Devils, not the pre-season crew that took the field last Saturday. THIS JUST IN: Dennis Erickson has left ASU to take over the Cardinals. Wait, now I'm getting word he has been fired from the Cardinals and will pre-emptively take the open job at Washington. Oh no! Actually, nevermind - now he's signed a 10 year, $48 million dollar deal to coach the Texans. Wait... Arizona St. 30, Stanford 14.

Thanks for reading the post and putting up with my lame jokes. Your reward is, naturally, a picture of Cal pole vaulter Allison Stokke. She's a talented athlete.

via mikeresponts.files.wordpress.com

I'm also doing this because Stokke's father is a lawyer who tried to defend a convicted rapist by saying the victim felt no pain because she was unconscious.

Ah, karma. I'm sorry your Dad is a scumbag, Allison.

Overall Record: 6-2
Against the Spread: 4-3