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Can't read his, can't read his, no you can't read Wulff's poker face

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In the interest of time, I have decided to make a template for all Cougar football recaps going forward. Just fill in the blanks with the appropriate information:

[Opponent] throttled the Cougars at [Martin Stadium/Opponent's Stadium] Saturday, by a final score of [Opponent 40 or more points] to WSU [14 or less points].

The Cougars got off to a horrific start with [opposing player's name] scoring a touchdown within the first two minutes. The Cougar offense went three-and-out on their first several drives, and couldn't slow down [Opponent] on defense. The result was a score at the end of the first quarter of [Opponent 20 or more points], WSU 0.

WSU suffered even more with [one of our few good player's names] suffering a freak injury in the second quarter. That was added insult to the Cougars who had already lost [key Cougar player 1], [key Cougar player 2] and [key Cougar player 3] prior to the game.

[Opponent's player] had a career [rushing/passing] day, with [250 yards rushing/400 yards passing] and six touchdowns. This was a huge boost to [opponent], who earlier in the season suffered an embarrassing loss to [mediocre Pac-10 team].

By the end of the first half, the game was well in hand for [opponent], leading [30 or more] to [7 or less].

Resting most of their starters after the break, the second half was low scoring, with [opponent] earning two more touchdowns to WSU's one.

WSU had one bright spot - a long passing touchdown reception by [Karstetter/Forzani] late in the second half. Nico Grasu missed the PAT.

The Cougars drop to 1 and [x] overall, and remain winless in conference play.

Next week WSU will play [next opponent]. Vegas has set the early line, with the Cougars as 35 point underdogs.

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Yep, this is what WSU football has become. Games like this make it very hard to remain a staunch defender of Paul Wulff returning in 2010.

Player of the Game: Marshall Lobbestael. Never thought I'd say that again, but Rock Lobster did a good job filling in for the injured Jeff Tuel: 7 for 11, 103 yards, 9.4 yards per attempt, 1 touchdown and no interceptions.

Unsung Hero: Dwight Tardy. Four carries for 44 yards, an 11 yard/carry average, although 37 of those yards came on one play. He also averaged 19.5 yards per kick return. I still think he deserves more carries.

It was over when... Travis Cobb returned the opening kickoff 95 yards for a touchdown. I'm not sugar coating it this week. This game was over in thirteen seconds. A new record.

Play of the Game: A pretty obvious selection, the 64-yard touchdown pass from Lobbestael to Karstetter with 6:23 to play. Did you know Arizona's within a half game of the Pac-10 conference lead? Yep, doesn't make me feel any better either.

Stat of the Game: 54. As in Arizona's 54 rushing attempts, resulting in 294 yards and a dominating 41:19 time of posession.