How you like me now?!?!

IN YOUR FACE!

BOOM! What you think about that? Second half DOMINATION! That's the way the Dawgs roll. Bow down to Washington!

You think you can run with us, stupid Coogs? No way, man. You guys are UWJV East. Your players only wish they were good enough and smart enough to be HUSKIES. Only the finest play for the purple and gold. Like Spencer Hawes. Or Ryan Appleby.

Bet you like tippin' cows, huh? Rednecks. You just can't run with tha WEST-SIIIEEEEEEDEE.

[Makes hand motion in shape of 'W"]

But you and you're ignorent buddies just don't get it. You think you can come in to OUR HOUSE, with the greatest and most smartest fan section in the world - the DAWG PACK - and win? Please.

WHEATFIELDS!

And what's with all these foreigners on your team? That's why you lost. U-S-A! U-S-A! Take your stupid Serbs and Austrians and Californians and Spokanites and go back to that ugly wasteland on the other side of the state. I bet you guys don't even have gas stations there.

F*** WAZZU! F*** WAZZU!

See, we're all about class here. And educashun. Guess who always ranks higher in academic stuff? Time's up! It's US. You stupid drunk losers couldn't even pass a breathalizer test! LOL!

So what I didn't graduate UW? North Seattle Community College is a better school than Wazzu anyway. We have real fans here. Not those bandwagoners that jump on your bandwagon over there. Did you even care about basketball before a couple years ago? Hah, see, I got you. I'm right. Everyone knows REAL basketball didn't start until 2004, when midget baller Nate Robinson TOOK OVER THE PAC AND THE HUSKIES ROAMED IN ROMARVILLE AND WON SEVEN CONSECUTIVE PAC-10 TITLES. Or something like that. Stop pressin me for facts man, who cares?

BAG MY GROCERIES!

Like when I was working at QFC last summer as a "Front end packaging attendant", I'd see some stupid Coog fans come in and try to dis the Dawgs. You can't dis us! We won a national championship in 1991!

PULL-MAN SUCKS! PULL-MAN SUCKS!

Plus, you guys know the real reason we're better than you. The reason your hack team couldn't get the job done in ROMARVILLE today.

MONTLAKE JAKE.

2010 HEISMAN WINNER, son. Damn just look at those muscles. I want to be friends with them.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, Coogs SUCK! You can't run with the DAWGS in football or basketball. You think we'd ever stoop so low to have a winless football season in the Pac-10 like you guys did? Please. The Dawgs are BACK. We're better than you, we've been better, and we'll continue to be better. Coach Sark will have us in the title game in two years. Lock it up.

So run on back to your stoopid little farm town, Coogs. Come back when you have a REAL team. We're Final Four and Rose Bowl contenders every year. Your a bunch of LOSERS who will never beat us.

What do you mean you've still won seven of the last ten against us in basketball? The last two out of three in football? Get that weak nerdy stat crap out of here. Numbers don't win ball games, CHAMPIONS do. I bet you still live in your parent's basement.

Oh, hang on a sec.

[Yells to upstairs] MOM!!!! When are the hot pockets done? I said, the HOT POCKETS! God, don't you listen?!?!!

Look, man, I got to go. I've got better things to do than talk to a stupid Coog.

[Turns Red Sox hat slightly to the side]

BOW DOWN TO WASHINGTON!

[Gulps down Keystone Light]

LET'S GO HUS-KIES!!