COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON BEGINS: MUST EXPRESS JOY IN RHYMES

Streeter Lecka

Note: This poem first appeared in 2010. It seems relevant right now, as South Carolina kicks off against North Carolina.

Hooray! Hooray!
The Season begins today.
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Let's watch some Footbaw.

Summer's been long.
Loyalties gone wrong.
But teams must wait 'till twenty-eleven
For cash-money heaven.

Tired of previews.
Sick of all the breaking news.
Don't want to hear about "could."
Just want to see a safety lay the wood.

Hooray! Hooray!
The Season begins today.
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Let's watch some Footbaw.

Get comfy on the couch
To watch the O-line crouch.
Buy your girl something nice
To keep your nuts out of the vice.

There will be pretzels and cheese.
Hot wings and chips are guarantees.
Maybe even some veggies with dip...
Nah, there's no room for vitamins on this trip.

Hooray! Hooray!
The Season begins today.
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Let's watch some footbaw.

The most important friend of all,
Wonderful alcohol.
Whether it be beer or liquor
We need it to bear that kicker.

PBR and Busch Light
For those long tailgaiting nights.
Rogue and Dogfish are the choice
When us beer snobs rejoice!

Hooray! Hooray!
The Season begins today.
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Let's watch some Footbaw.

Through July we all yearn
For stadium traditions to return.
From the Gator Chomp to "Calling the hogs"
Shaking the keys and purple barking dawgs.

We'll all scream and groan.
At the game or even checking on the phone.
Patience is short in the average sports fan.
That's why we pay for the data plan.

Hooray! Hooray!
The Season begins today.
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Let's watch some Footbaw.

They'll be upsets and blowouts
And penalites that make us lash out.
Pac-10 refs will be there.
Wear a hat to avoid pulling out your hair.

And even if your team is worst in the land,
When they come out the tunnel you'll surely stand.
Because basketball and baseball might be great,
But eight months without College Football is too long to wait.

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