This afternoon the Washington State University Cougars take on the California Golden Bears in a battle of teams desperately in search of a win to hold on to their fading postseason hopes.
Over the second half of the Pac-10 slate, I've found that previewing a team I have written about just a month earlier tends to get a little boring. To spice things up, I decided to bring in a few die-hard fans from in or around these two great universities. Representing our beloved Cougs, a man who has claimed four combine derby championships, Washtucna WIlly. For the Bears, a man who once slept in a tree for 79 consecutive nights, Berkeley Bob.
Craig: Welcome you guys. I really appreciate you taking the time to sit down with me and cover this important Pac-10 match-up between Cal and WSU.
Washtucna WIlly: Is this gon' be on the TayVay? Can't wait to tell my momma! Go Kewgs!
Berkeley Bob: Important? Pfft. The real important question to ask yourself is how many ecosystems were destroyed so you could build this university on this hill? How about all this farmland...Wait, is that Vegetarian Lentil Chili with rolls on the side? YUM YUM YUM. GIMME GIMME.
Craig: Well, Willy. This isn't really going to be on TV. It is on a website.
WW: /scratches head
BB: Is your website sustainable? Do you advertise local companies? Have you considered changing you site colors to green and writing more about composting?
Craig: Well...I suppose it is sustainable. We don't really use paper or anything. Most of our ads have to do with helping you find singles in your area, so I guess you could say they are local. As for your other suggestions...I suppose we can keep that in mind. Let's move onto the game. First, during the last meeting in Berkeley Markhuri Sanders-Frison was able to use his size advantage to dominate the Cougars on offense. He also passed really well out of double-teams to find open shooters. Do you see that happening again?
WW: Frison sounds sorta Frenchy. We all know how we saved their butts in the wars. He'll probably just surrender before the game starts! USA! USA! USA!
BB: Ahhh, France. I backpacked around Europe two years ago. It was amazing. Have you been?
WW: I ain't never been to France and I ain't never goin'. Too many girly men for my taste.
BB: I would suspect a toothless hick like yourself couldn't appreciate some of the finer things of French culture anyway.
/Sticks nose in the air
/Hasn't showered in a week
Craig: Okay...well I'm not sure what World War II has to do with this game and I suppose Willy or I really couldn't appreciate the finer things like sleeping in a tree. Let's move on. Cal freshman Allen Crabbe lit the Cougars up for 30 points in Berkeley. He often took advantage of WSU's slow rotations out of double teams. What can the Cougs do to stop that this time, and can Crabbe make them pay again if they don't?
BB: Crab? That reminds me. Have you heard of the plight of the endangered Horseshoe Crab?
WW: HORSESHOES? That's my kinda game. I thought we were talkin' bout basketball. I could beat y'all in a game of horseshoes right now!
/Spits into empty Pepsi bottle
Craig: I'm starting to feel like this wasn't the best of ideas. Willy, you told me you were the biggest Coug fan in the world. Bob, I made you promise not to bring up environmental issues.
WW: I'm sorry, the French just get me so riled up.
BB: I'll try to stay on track. It's just so hard to ignore the troubles befalling the hermit crab.
Craig: You mean the Horsehoe Crab?
BB: Er..uh...yeah...that's what I meant.
Craig: Well, despite my best judgement, I'm going to continue on with the basketball questions. Klay Thompson was unstoppable in Haas Pavilion. However, he has struggled the last three games. What sort of an impact will he have today?
WW: Klay Thompson pouts too much.
BB: Klay Thompson is the son of former NBA star Mychal Thompson!
Craig: Well, atleast it seems like you guys actually listened to my question that time. One more before I go bang my head against the wall in hopes of forgetting this whole ordeal. Who do you have winning?
WW: There is no way a bunch of foreigner California hippies are going to come up here and beat me in a game of horseshoes.
BB: The real winner here is Planet Earth. We've brought up some important topics that I hope you can expand on in the future.
Craig: I hate you guys.
For an excellent statistical preview of the game, head over to California Golden Blogs. Personally, I think analysis is overrated.