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2011 NFL Mock Draft, CougCenter Edition: Seahawks on the Clock


With the draft actually happening tomorrow, this will be the final installment of the 2011 CougCenter NFL Mock Draft. If you for some reason haven't read the first two parts of this three part epic mini-series, then I urge you to go back and read them here and here.

Today we finish off the first round, and look at picks 21-32. We will also see what the Seahawks will do with the 25th overall selection. Fear not my friends, there are no more Reid Forrest jokes from here on out. I promise.

Star-divide

21.) Seattle Seahawks (via Kansas City) -- Larry Bernandez, QB/SP, University of Phoenix

The Seahawks traded up from #25 to grab Bernandez, and all it cost them was Kelly Jennings' broken ankles. The Chiefs didn't even ask for the Seahawks' #25 pick in this deal. They felt Jennings' broken ankles were enough to satisfy their need for a below average body part in their secondary.

Bernandez is clearly talented, but he doesn't know when to call it a day sometimes. Many people see him as risky because of his inability to stop being awesome. I mean, at some point, you've got to sleep.

Larry Bernandez doesn't sleep. He waits.

 

22.) Indianapolis Colts -- Advertisement Peyton Manning, QB, SouthEastern Sprint MasterCard University

What a back up plan the Colts have in place. Their franchise QB, Peyton Manning, has been one of the most reliable QBs in NFL history. However, Manning isn't quite as young as he once was. Fortunately for the Colts, Advertisement Peyton Manning never ages.

CUT THAT MEAT, CUT THAT MEAT!

 

23.) Philadelphia Eagles -- Mark Wahlberg as Vince Papale, WR, Philadelphia Eagles Try-Outs

Andy Reid loved the movie Invincible. When his advisers told him Mark Wahlberg is an actor and didn't really play football, he decided to risk it and draft Marky Mark anyways.

"Sometimes you just have to take a risk. I've watched the Invincible DVD at least 20 times, and every time I watch, I get reminded of how underratedly hot Elizabeth Banks is. Also, Charlie from Fringe is in it. If you look closely, you even notice a post-Waterworld Jeanne Tripplehorn. I'm confident that Mark will help us on Special Teams, in street football games played in the rain with car headlights on, and tending bar. He's really versatile."

 

24.) New Orleans Saints -- BEES MOW, RB, Cal

The Saints are set at QB with Drew Brees. What the Saints lack is a dominant RB who doesn't have to share carries with five other guys. While this cuts into former Washington State practice squad standout Chris Ivory's playing time, ultimately, the Saints couldn't pass up BEES MOW.

I mean, after he did this to them, I feel like it's an "if you can't beat 'em, draft 'em" kind of thing.

 

25.) Oklahoma City, OK -- Washington Huskies Men's Basketball Team

In a shocking twist, the town of Oklahoma City has traded their NBA franchise, the Thunder, back to Seattle for the #25 pick in the draft, 5% stock in the Pacific Science Center, and Howard Schultz. The city of Seattle rejoiced as their beloved Sonics were welcomed back to town, and the hated Huskies were shipped to the worst state in the US. It was a win-win for everyone involved.

 

26.) Baltimore Ravens -- Trent Dilfer, QB, ESPN

With starting QB Joe Flacco obviously too young to run the team, Ravens go back to the best QB they've ever had. Dilfer comes in with an understanding of the game no one else has ever possessed in the history of football. If you've ever listened to him on NFL Live, you know instantly that he is the smartest man alive, and he is never wrong.

On a related note, I laughed for a good 10 minutes at the link to his picture. His face looks like he just smelled Paul Wulff's deuce in Spencer Waseem's house.

 

27.) Atlanta Falcons -- Bill Goldberg, DT, WCW/Georgia

As many of you know, Goldberg ran amok on Monday Nitro during the late '90s for Ted Turner's World Championship Wrestling. What you may not know is that Bill Goldberg's mother is a classical violinist.

Also of note, Goldberg actually played professional football at one point for these very same Atlanta Falcons. No, I can't really believe it, either. But hey, here's proof.

 

28.) New England Patriots -- THIS PICK HAS BEEN FORFEITED DUE TO THE NFL LOCKOUT AND SPYGATE

The Patriots were upset for a little while, and then they realized they have Tom AND Jet Brady. They'll be fine.

 

29.) Chicago Bears -- Lauren Conrad, KR/PR, The Hills

What's that you say? LC to the Bears doesn't make any sense whatsoever? Well considering Bears QB Jay Cutler just proposed to girlfriend Kristin Cavaliri, I'd say this pick makes perfect sense.

Cutler has been known to be a bit of an unlikeable guy, and since the Bears can't make people like him, they said "screw it" and went full throttle in the opposite direction. If this were the WWE, Cutler would be turning his back on his tag team partner, costing him the title. JR would scream "OH MY GOD, THAT'S LC'S MUSIC!" and someone else would come in to save the day and put Cutler over as a bigger heel.

It's perfect. Everyone can focus on LC's historic rise and championship reign, and Cutler can cry. On the bench. While his backup plays.

 

30.) New York Jets -- Michelle Ryan's Feet, K/P, Rex Ryan's house

I don't really feel like a joke is necessary for this one.

 

31.) Pittsburgh Steelers -- Big Ben, Clock Tower, London, UK

The Steelers came oh-so-close to winning another Super Bowl this past year with Ben Roethlisberger at the helm. Since Ben has expressed his desire to shed the "Big Ben" nickname, the Steelers went with the next best thing:

The real friggin' clock.

How is this going to work out from a logistical standpoint you ask? Well he's obviously going to be an offensive lineman the likes of which this league has never seen. He'll block for Ben all day long. He'll make sure to tell the other team what time it is!

Also, he can make sure Ben is home early, in his bed, not at college bars in Georgia.

 

32.) Green Bay Packers -- Aaron Rodgers' Championship Belt, QB, Cal (Jr.)

I could have made a Brett Favre joke, but I felt the need to acknowledge Aaron Rodgers' awesomeness instead. So, sorry guys. No funny jokes to end this thing. Just awesome GIFs.

Awesome GIF 1.

Awesome GIF 2.

Awesome GIF 3.

Awesome GIF 4.

Awesome GIF 5.

 

 

I hope you all enjoyed CougCenter's look at the 2011 NFL Draft. We'll be back after the actual draft this weekend with a recap of how right we were.

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Time for a serious comment

If the hawks draft Locker, I’m out. For real, just out.

by coug2828 on Apr 27, 2011 8:10 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

That's how I feel about Ryan Mallett

I can root for Locker as a Hawk… I just doubt he has the tools to succeed in the NFL. He’s the modestly wealthy man’s Tim Tebow.

Writer: CougCenter Twitterer: @GradyClapp

by Grady Clapp on Apr 27, 2011 8:41 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Acutally, I'm ok with Mallett.

I don’t think he’ll be the answer, but I don’t think he’ll be completely terrible, either. I hope we take an offensive lineman and realize that QB is the least of our worries.

But I do agree with coug2828, if we take Locker, I quit my Seahawks fandom.

by Kyle Rancourt on Apr 27, 2011 9:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

The Husky men's basketball team comment just made no sense.

Why would Seattle hate the UW basketball team? Or is it just you? Everyone knows that Seattle hates Howard Schultz and Clay Bennett. I hate Clay so much that I won’t even spellcheck his name. It’s probably spelled dead wrong, and I take some satisfaction in that.

by Jeff in MD on Apr 27, 2011 10:26 PM PDT up reply actions  

This is a Cougar blog.

This post was a joke. Ipso facto, it was a good natured jab at UW.

by Kyle Rancourt on Apr 27, 2011 11:43 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

Ryan Mallet = Dan McGwire. Joke.

This is probably to old for most readers on here. I will hate the front office if they draft Mallet. I rather have Locker. The only problem I have with Locker is him being a Husky. I hate to say this, but I wouldn’t mind if we tank next year just so we can draft Andrew Luck. Lets beef up the O and D lines and get a few CBs. I would be fine with a later round QB just to see if he works out…like Christian Ponder or Tyrod Taylor. If Tyrod doesn’t work out, turn him into a PR or WR. He ran a 4.44 in the combine.

"When the game is pretty tough, Don't you ever holler 'nuff, Show the world you have the stuff, Keep-a-goin."
- William Henry "Lone Star" Dietz

by SoCalCoug on Apr 28, 2011 2:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

Joke...as in Mallet is a joke.

Todd Marinovich in 10 years.

"When the game is pretty tough, Don't you ever holler 'nuff, Show the world you have the stuff, Keep-a-goin."
- William Henry "Lone Star" Dietz

by SoCalCoug on Apr 28, 2011 2:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

I have problems with Locker (as a prospect) other than the fact he's a Husky.

That certainly doesn’t help, though.

Imagine this comment in COUGAR BOLD!

by J.J. FeKl on Apr 28, 2011 2:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sorry, I didn't clarify

I have no idea how Locker is going to do in the NFL. I like the guy besides him being a Husky and I hope he eventually makes it, but I hope the Hawks don’t draft him. He is a good kid. He has all the tools, but there is just to much uncertainty. He is at least 2 year project. Accuracy is usually something you have or don’t have. Hopefully for Jake’s sake accuracy can be greatly improved. I actually laughed when he told Gruden (on the ESPN QB camp) that they have things called DVDs and he doesn’t have to use the VHS tape anymore. Classic.

"When the game is pretty tough, Don't you ever holler 'nuff, Show the world you have the stuff, Keep-a-goin."
- William Henry "Lone Star" Dietz

by SoCalCoug on Apr 28, 2011 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

Seattle Seahawks should get a deal to get ahead of 49ers in draft pick 2012.

Andrew Luck would be a great quarter back, but San Francisco will try to get this guy next year.

by well you win some and lose others on Apr 28, 2011 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

I would trade almost all of next year picks (at least 3/4 of them) to get that pick.

"When the game is pretty tough, Don't you ever holler 'nuff, Show the world you have the stuff, Keep-a-goin."
- William Henry "Lone Star" Dietz

by SoCalCoug on Apr 28, 2011 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

Wait, what?

You think the 49ers are going to pass on Gabbert (who will probably be there at 7) and wait until next year to take Luck? The Niners will be better than us and therefore have a lower draft pick.

I have no idea what you are talking about.

by Kyle Rancourt on Apr 28, 2011 3:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

Ok, but that still doesn't change anything.

The 49ers are better than we are and we’ll have a higher draft pick than they will next year. How, exactly, are they going to get Luck instead of us? You suggested we trade with them to ensure we get Luck, but it didn’t make sense at all because 1) they’ll probably take a QB this year and 2) we’ll have a higher draft pick than they will in 2012.

by Kyle Rancourt on Apr 28, 2011 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

Someone else thinks they would not take a quarterback

this year. Who says the deal is final for next year? There may be a trade for 49ers to draft pick in the top ten, but for now there are no trade deals.

by well you win some and lose others on Apr 28, 2011 4:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

So, your argument is

we should trade up to prevent the possibility of the 49ers just maybe trading up ahead of us?

Also, citing writers and bloggers saying they shouldn’t take Gabbert is the same as me saying they should take Gabbert. It’s completely meaningless.

I don’t get what you’re attempting to argue.

by Kyle Rancourt on Apr 28, 2011 5:03 PM PDT up reply actions  

49ers are going to intentionally go 0-16

"Two people in my life, my wife and our quarterback, Andrew Luck, have a lot in common. They are just both perfect. With most people you say, ‘If they only didn’t do that or do this,’ or you wish they could do this or do that. But I don’t do that with my wife Sarah or with Andrew Luck. They are both just absolutely perfect the way they are." – Jim Harbaugh

Streamin' and Threadin' and Shellin

by Shellin on Apr 28, 2011 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

I Agree

We shouldn’t even draft a QB in the first especially not Locker. Good guy, hell of an athlete, not good enough to be a QB in the NFL. Everyone says it’s because of the team he played on that didn’t have a line or receivers who could catch the ball. To that I say: Tuel had better numbers last year on a worse team, as a sophomore.

WE WILL NOT BOW

by Solidcoug on Apr 28, 2011 8:53 AM PDT up reply actions  

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