Dear Cougar football,
First things first. I love you. I just want you to know that. You have a special place in my heart, and you always will. I... I just... I don't know if I can do it any more. I think we need to take some time.
No, don't cry. You weren't? You're an inanimate concept, incapable of crying? Oh, ok. Well, let me get this off my chest.
We've had some amazing times. Remember those 10 win seasons? Yeah those were great, the best way to spend an undergrad. However, things have been going downhill for a while. You know it as well as I do. We've been out of synch, and I feel like I'm not getting out of it what I have been putting in. The Internet and I were talking, earlier this summer, and we thought you had really gotten your stuff together. You'd been working out, and even spending some time at the beach. You had a new life coach, and he had you saying all the right things. I was excited, we were on the verge of having some good times again. I could proudly talk about you at the office again.
Then, this all happened. I don't really want to go into it, because it'll just make me angry again. The thing is... you haven't changed. You said you had, and I was ready to believe you. I took Psych 101, I know I'm enabling you, and I need to change. For Me. For You.
The truth is, there's someone else. I think you may know her, in fact, you're kind of related to her. It's West Virginia University. Her Mountain(eers) are sexy. I'm sorry, but gosh, she's just so darn sexy. And she moves fast. You know, the reason I fell for her is that she is what I hoped you could be. You should be complimented by that. The crazy coach, the Air Raid, the Points.... My goodness, the points. WVU gave me what I wanted, and needed, at the right time.
I'm sorry, I got distracted there, but I wanted to be honest with you. I'm going to be taking a little time to figure things out. I won't cheer for the ducks, or the dawgs; I'm not that cruel, but I need to figure this all out. I'm hurt, and I need some space to heal. Maybe while I'm away, you can talk to someone, and see if you can get your head in order too.
I'll be at the Oregon game, but my heart won't be in it. I'm going to try to avoid the pre-game analysis, and put this ugliness behind me. Give me a call when the victories aren't moral.