I grew up a very lucky child when it comes to delicious ice cream. Just a couple miles down the road from my house was Theno's Dairy in Redmond. The ice cream was homemade with decadent rocky road, creamy vanilla and seasonal favorites like cantaloupe and pumpkin. I truly thought it could never be better.
Then, I went to Washington State University and encountered Ferdinand's.
Oh Ferdinand's you delicious, awe-inspiring, taste bud titillating Siren you. I've waited in line for what seemed like eternity just to taste your blackberry ripple, your chocolate peanut butter and your lemon chiffon. During weeks away from school, I had fever dreams about raspberry and chocolate shakes. Your grabbers....oh dear Lord in heaven your grabbers. One bite could transport you onto a higher plain of existence and pleasure even the finest scientific minds at the California Institute of Technology couldn't fathom as a reality in space time.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Ferdinand's is pretty good. We all knew this. Families of students and visitors to Pullman, whether they're passing through or there to root on a rival team, knew this. But somehow, someway, the message had to get out to a larger audience to give Ferdinand's their proper due.
From the network that brought you a show where contestants are challenged to build an entree out of Kobe beef, motor oil, pond scum and a couple of Guy Fieri's sweat bands and his horrendous frosted tips comes the Food Network's list of the best ice cream treats for every state in the union. It should come as no surprise that the network has named Ferdinand's as the best place in the state to go for ice cream (aside: apparently Ferdinand's, and by proxy Pullman, is located in or near Seattle. Seems like a bit of a geographical oversight on their part but hey, they ditched Molto Mario years ago so their decision making is quite questionable).
It was only a matter of time before a media entity with the clout of the Food Network acknowledged how lucky we are to have Ferdinand's in our lives. I've had weekends after graduation where we were wavering on whether to go to Pullman or not and all it took was a simple 'Ferdinand's' uttered by someone to get us in the car.
Now, Ferdinand's already has a pretty extensive list of bombastically delicious ice cream flavors but I wanted to make a few suggestions of my own. In honor of their distinction as the best place in Washington, Washington, Wash-ing-ton State to get a scoop of ice cream, here's what I would add to the menu.
Dick Bennett Chunk: Vanilla flavored with broccoli, kale and spinach, it tastes terrible and it's not pretty but you know it's good for you in the long run.
Tony Bennett Chunk: Chocolate mixed with mint, fudge, chocolate chips and topped with warm caramel. You've never tasting anything so incredible while you're eating it but eventually, it turns into a gut bomb and somehow kicks you right in the crotch.
Elson S. Floyd Ripple: A mix of raspberry ripple and cookie dough flavors, this particular blend always goes down smooth. Comes with a clip on mustache for an extra .50.
Paul Wulff Cappuccino: Coffee grounds sprinkled on top of vanilla, you'll take one bite of this, make a bitter face and drop it on the ground.
Mike Leach Mocha: Inexplicably, the combination of unconventional flavors like latte, gummi bears, watermelon and iceburg lettuce actually works and you never know quite where it's going when you eat it. Comes with an optional waffle cone in the pattern of pleated khakis.
Andrew Furney Swirl: Vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, cookie dough and mint chocolate chip are swirled together and it's topped with hoop earrings, Stiletto heels and a Louis Vitton purse. Why? Because this ice cream is G-L-A-M-OROUS.
Aron Baynes Vegemite: It's vanilla and Vegemite. It'll never believe you when you tell the ice cream it smells foul.
V. Lane Rawlins Mess O' Ice Cream: You don't actually get anything. The server just takes a chunk of vanilla, throws it at your face and then tells you to clean it up. AND DON'T YOU DARE HAVE ANY FUN OF ANY KIND WHILE YOU DO IT SIR!
Any other suggestions for the best ice cream shop in the state?