As expansion talk continues to get warmer (and, hopefully, closer to a final resolution), a lot of people are talking about what a new superconference may look like. You know, the good, the bad and the ugly things about it. One issue brought up from time to time is that schools like Texas and Oklahoma may have to play in (gasp) Pullman, Washington!
I fear there may be some misrepresentations out there regarding the Lentil Capital of the Universe, and I'd like to dispel some of the rumors out there and give you all the straight facts about Pullman. Not to mention that I'd also like to put to rest some of the common misconceptions floating around out there on the tubes of the internet.
I give you Pullman: Fact or fiction. Kind of like when they did it on SportsCenter, but with less Mark Schlereth.
Fact: You will not like getting here
Not only is Pullman closest to an airport that's a secondary destination and not a major hub (Spokane), one has to drive an hour and a half from said airport to get to Pullman. Now, if your team has the kind of major league money needed to charter a flight, you can fly right into Pullman. However, if you'd like to save money, prepare yourself for multiple stops on your plane trip and a charter bus ride! Exciting!
Also, there are hills here. Prepare with calf-stretching.
Fiction: You will get rained on
Wrong side of the state. This is the colder, dryer, Eastern Washington. Bundle up.
Fact: You are a wuss if you complain about the trip
It's 2010. On the Oregon trail, people died trying to get to the Northwest. Now you Southerners get to hop on an airplane, and then get in a cushy car seat to drive into a place with far more conveniences than most cities of 30,000 people. Be a man, stop whining, and enjoy the trip out here. It's actually a really beautiful drive in the early fall (and occasionally in the winter if there's snow on the ground). Husky/Duck fans complain about the trip because they are a bunch of whiners and have an innate fear of two-lane highways. Which brings me to my next point.
Fact: Busch Light is king
Please, people. Our cheap beer of choice is Busch Light. Not Natty Ice, or PBR, or any of that other stuff. When you're making jokes, the least you can do is be accurate.
Fiction: All Coug fans drink is Busch Light
A lot of Coug fans are beer snobs, and actually care about the taste of our beer. (Not in the stupid, Miller Lite commercial sort of way, in the real way) And there are a ton of great, local breweries in the Northwest. Ask one of us.
Fiction: There is nothing to do in Pullman
Ever heard of cow tipping? LOL. Haha, you're hilarious, and only the 384,243,254th person to make that joke. Look, man, you're going to a BCS conference football game. That should be good enough for you. Bring food, drinks, stuff to tailgate with, and you will have a good time. Hit up Dissmores if you need more of the above. The new CUB is fun to visit, there's two good student bookstores to check out, there's plenty of good restaurants (ask a local), ridiculously good cheese and ice cream, and you can drive 8 miles down the road and say you've been to Idaho! Without actually having to have the awful experience of visiting the state of Idaho on purpose!
Fact: Idaho drivers are the worst in the nation
Just throwing that one out there. You've been warned. Watch out for red, white and blue license plates.
Fiction: Coug fans are drunk, scary
OK, some Coug fans will be drunk. But we're also really nice people, too. We reserve most of our hate for the Huskies, and even that's kind of halfhearted because 75% of us have high school classmates that went to the U-Dub and we don't really hate them. Yes, we have occasionally thrown stuff onto playing surfaces, but that's not anything worse than what you've already seen in Boulder. Not to mention we've only done that to excess following the two worst officiating blunders in our school's recent history (2002 Apple Cup, 2003 Stanford basketball game). If you're Oklahoma State, for example, we don't really hate you, and will definitely not throw stuff at you.
Fact: We might beat your team
Pullman is a tough place to play. It's freezing cold in the winter and you have 5,000 students right on top of you making noise. Plus we've managed to be good on occasion, and as 2002-03 Texas will attest to, we are capable of beating top tier programs.
Fiction: We might beat your team in the next couple of years
That's not happening. We're pretty awful right now. Maybe in basketball.