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Simming The Season, Week 5: Cougs Lose To Ducks 42 - 38 In Final Seconds


Holy cow, what a heart-breaker. Going into the 4th quarter, the good guys were actually ahead 31 - 30. After a long TD pass to superstar WR Marquess Wilson, the Cougs looked like they had the game in the bag, going ahead 38 - 30 after a successful point after. At this point in the game, only 3 minutes and change remained. While one can never truly count out Oregon's high powered offense, having to score twice in a little over 3 minutes seemed highly improbable.

After the score, WSU was set to kick-off. The problem? De'Anthony Thomas. Thomas took the ensuing kick-off 100 yards to the house, making the score 38 - 36 in about 5 seconds. Oregon was unsuccessful in their 2-point conversion, but it didn't matter. Either they recovered an onside kick, or the defense held. With a measly 41 seconds left on the clock, the now-frontrunner for the Heisman Trophy, Kenjon Barner, scored his 3rd and final TD of the game, giving the Ducks a 42 - 38 lead. They were again unsuccessful in a 2-point conversion, but it didn't matter. The Cougs could not answer and were handed their first loss of the season.

I think the worst part of this loss is not being able to mock the guys at ATQ. Now I'll just pretend this never happened.

As you can imagine, Barner was named both Player of the Game, as well as Pac 12 Offensive Player of the Week. Jeff Tuel was named Player of the Game for the Cougs again, his 4th such honor. Barner rushed 24 times for 182 yards and 3 TDs. This performance helped him leapfrog Wisconsin's Montee Ball as the new favorite in the race for the prestigious Heisman Trophy.

The defense played about as well as we could have hoped, and Nolan Washington's stellar performance earned him Pac 12 Defensive Player of the Week. When asked to comment about his teammate's accomplishment, Damante Horton could not be found. Upon further inspection, he was attempting to wash a nacho cheese stain out of his jeans. "Well I was just sitting there, minding my own business, when these delicious nachos just fell into my lap. I mean, super lucky, right? I guess you've gotta give me credit for being in the right place at the right time, though."


Jeff Tuel: 21/36, 358 yards, 5 TDs, 2 INTs, L53, 2 sacks


Jeff Tuel: 15 carries, 53 yards

Rickey Galvin: 5 carries, 19 yards

Kenjon Barner: 24 carries, 182 yards, 3 TDs, L63

De'Anthony Thomas: 13 carries, 83 yards, L18


Marquess Wilson: 13 catches, 251 yards, 2 TDs, L53

Andrei Lintz: 5 catches, 54 yards, 2 TDs, L24

Kristoff Williams: 3 catches, 53 yards, 1 TD, L37

Bobby Ratliff: 0 catches, 0 yards, 0 TDs, 1 drop [lolololololol Mark]


Travis Long: 8 tackles, 4 solo, 1 sack, 1 FF

Cyrus Coen: 6 tackles, 2 solo, 1 sack, 1 FF

Nolan Washington: 5 tackles, 0 solo, 0 sacks, 2 INTs, 2 deflections, 1 FR

Logan Mayes: 1 tackle, 0 solo, 0 sacks :(

Tyree Minogue: Can't Get You Out of My Head: 2 tackles, 0 solo, 0 sacks, 0 INTs, 1 deflection, 0 FF, 0 FR, 0 safeties, 1 pleasant conversation

Around the Pac 12:

Stanford 52, UW 21

Arizona State 24, Cal 6

Arizona 24, Oregon State 9

UCLA 38, Colorado 33

USC 42, BYE 0*

Utah 5, BYE 2

*USC was ordered to vacate this victory due to NCAA sanctions

Current Pac 12 Standings:

1. Oregon (5-0) [2-0]

2. USC (4-0) [2-0]

3. UCLA (5-0) [2-0]

4. Utah (4-0) [1-0]

5. WSU (4-1) [1-1]

6. Stanford (3-1) [1-1]

7. Arizona (3-2) [1-1]

8. Arizona State (2-3) [1-1]

9. Washington (3-1) [0-1]

10. Cal (2-3) [0-2]

11. Oregon State (1-3) [0-2]

12. Colorado (1-4) [0-2]

Other Interesting Tidbits:

- Jeff Tuel still leads the nation in most categories including completions (118), yards (2,042), TDs (21), and YPG (408.4).

- Marquess Wilson is destroying everyone, and is pretty much a lock for the Biletnikoff Award. MQW leads the nation in receptions (58), yards (1,042), TDs (10), YAC (439), and YPG (208.4). MQW is the only player to have eclipsed the 1,000 yard mark in receiving. The player with the 2nd most receiving yardage is Keenan Davis of Iowa. Davis has 611 yards. For reals, guys. Even video game Marquess makes me shake my head and laugh at how insanely good he is.

- De'Anthony Thomas really did destroy us. His stats: 13 rushes, 83 yards. 3 catches, 26 yards, 1 TD. 4 kick returns, 192 yards, 1 TD, L100. 3 punt returns, 81 yards, L46. Good lord.

- UW beat LSU by 18 in Baton Rouge, then loses to Stanford at home by 31. Because that totally makes sense.

- UCLA beat Colorado to move to 5 - 0. Bruin's Nation immediately posted about how everyone needs to be fired, and then preemptively banned me for this comment.

- Jeff Tuel still leads the team in rushing, which, lolololol no, wait, that's not funny :(

- After going bananas last week, Logan Mayes was invisible this week, registering only 1 assisted tackle.

- After I coined Mark loving a player as The Kiss of Death™, Bobby Ratliff felt his wrath, catching no balls while registering one drop.

- Total Offense: Oregon 432 yards, WSU 430 yards. For reals, guys. This game was effing close. Thomas' ridiculous kick return was clearly the play of the game.

- Tyree Toomer had 11 items, but he was too classy to go through the 10 Items or Less lane. Stand up guy. Speaks volumes about him.


Remember, if you want rosters, go here. For a detailed explanation of what this is, go here. See you Monday. Go Cougs!