The bye week blues are here. With a stress free Saturday of football ahead, things are fairly quiet in Cougardom. So the WSU Sports Judges are here to answer more of your questions. We happen to be experts at settling WSU sports related questions but our expertise is almost equaled in answering anything WSU, Pullman or otherwise related. We've added a new judge to make it a three-man panel, fairly deciding all disputes: the right honorable Kyle Sherwood.
As always, if you've got any other questions, leave them in the comments and we'll give you our ruling. To the questions! After the Night Court theme because reasons.
Sports Judges, I've taken classes in a lot of crappy classrooms at Washington State University. But which one is the worst?
Preston: I'm looking at this class a little differently when I offer this: the Todd Auditorium. They remodeled it just before I got to school in 2006 and the chairs they installed were a) wide b) cushioned and c) we're able to lean back. Why in the hell would you install comfortable chairs that can recline then choose to teach 8 a.m. classes in there? I actually managed to sleep through my own class, the 9 a.m. lecture and woke up in the middle of whatever class was taught in there at 10 a.m. on Wednesdays (thanks for waking me up everyone who walked past me). I get that we're valuing the comfort of students and while I do appreciate it, there's such a thing as too much comfort when I'm trying to listen to David Demers bloviate about...whatever the hell he bloviated about. Probably suing the school for "infringing on his constitutional rights." Yeah, well, guess what Dave? Maybe I'd have a little more sympathy if you didn't force us to buy your book for the class, which cost $90, then change about 5 pages every semester so we could only sell it back for $7.
If we're going on what is ACTUALLY the worst, it's the Fulmer Pit. I was pretty convinced that if there was ever a fire (and I'm pretty sure there were chemistry classrooms upstairs) no one would make it out alive.
Sherwood: Wait, you actually bought textbooks? I bought textbooks for maybe a year or two before I figured out that most books were completely superfluous so long as you were in class taking notes (or sending a freshman to take notes for you). And I was in college back in the Internet dark ages, back when it was actually referred to as "the net" and was used primarily for ICQ chats, updating your X-Files Fan Fiction on Geocities and downloading Big Pun songs off Napster. Not buying textbooks did mean I generally missed out on Bookie Buck Shopping Bonanza at the end of every semester though. Do they still do Bookie Bucks or is there some sort of Bitcoin dropbox that you Tinder in to? What was the question again?
I had a 400-level PR class they couldn't fit into Murrow, so they stuck all of us out in Hulbert Hall for the semester, which from Greek Row you pretty much have to hire a sherpa to find. On the plus side: SO CLOSE TO THE BEARS.
Preston: In my defense, tests were open book and he lifted answers word-for-word out of the text.
Sandritter: I not only bought textbooks all four years, I also kept them. I have no idea why. But, they do a very good job of taking up useless space on a shelf now and they help me trick the occasional person into thinking I am smart. Also, I apparently hate money.
For the actual question, I hate no building on campus more than Johnson Hall. I had one class there. The classroom was alright, old, but alright. The problem was the location and the class I had in the Com addition 10 minutes after the one in Johnson ended. Waiting to cross Stadium then climbing the Wilson road hill then hustling across the mall made me late to class every time. That wouldn't be an issue except it was a small lab class and the only computer left was always the one with the messed up keyboard. The professor in Johnson Hall collected homework at the end of class too, so I couldn't even sneak out early.
A class in Hulbert? That's an automatic drop.
Sports Judges, WSU is 2-5. At what point am I permitted to change rooting interest in a lost season?
Preston: I think you're permitted to lose interest and become apathetic but change your rooting interest? What, did you go to Bellevue Community College?
I thought about that being my sole answer to the question, but I'm going to pretend you said you were looking to expand your rooting interest rather than change it. As a dyed in the wool Hoosier fan, I struggle with this every winter, particularly over the few years when Faisal Aden was taking hook shots from half court while Victor Oladipo was making me swoon from 2,000 miles away. But if the two teams ever played, I'd want the Cougs to win by 70 and would feel upset if the Hoosiers won.
It all really depends on the reasons you're rooting for a team. I'm friends with a woman from college on Facebook who has a weekly "ROLL TIDE" post that has always baffled me. WHY ARE YOU ROOTING FOR ALABAMA? YOU'RE FROM BELLEVUE. I NEED REASONS. I suppose you could shoehorn in an excuse to root for pretty much any team. I was a Jets fan for a decade because I was so good at Super Tecmo Bowl, I could beat anyone with their patently terrible 1992 roster (you will feel like a horrible human being when Freeman McNeil runs for 300 yards on you, I promise).
I guess go ahead and wear whatever hat you want, but be prepared for people to call you a bandwagoner. Because having to explain why you're a fan of Team X instead of the team you should support for geographic reasons is the most nauseating conversation and you're going to just give up on having it after the 2nd time you tell your story and the listener gives a half-hearted "oh I guess that makes sense" while rolling their eyes when you turn away. You think these guys still like explaining why they wore this garbage on national TV?
The happiest dudes in America pic.twitter.com/W8vh4PytZG— Kyle Sherwood (@BigWoodWSU) April 17, 2014
Your other team is Alabama, isn't it? Stop That.
Sandritter: Any ruling that comes with a Super Tecmo Bowl reference cannot be invalidated. It's just fact. Forever.
I will add that the only possible way I could see it being allowable to change a rooting interest is if you have a large sum of money riding on the other team. If you bet a couple grand on Purdue to hit the over on 5.5 wins, you Boilermake your little heart out for the rest of the season.
Seriously though, pulling a Karl Paymah is never allowed.
Sports Judges, the weather is starting to turn and winter is coming. What are your tips for surviving winter in Pullman?
Preston: For God's sake, don't do what so many kids try to do to avoid giving Avista a few extra bucks and just turn the damn heat on. It doesn't even have to be warm, just set it to 62 so that when you come back from Thanksgiving break you can't see your breath when you breathe inside. You'll spend less money just letting the heat run for 30 minutes to keep the temperature in the low 60s then layering up than having to crank the heat up to 80 just to get it to a livable temperature.
To avoid the karma of the ice gods, never laugh at someone when they fall down. You're just asking to be the next person to slip and break your wrist.
Sherwood: White Walkers will only die if you set them on fire. Stab them with a dagger made of dragonglass if dragonglass is available.
Sandritter: Wear double socks. Invest in a good ice scraper. Do not lick any outdoor metal no matter how drunk you are and how many Muchey'z hot dogs your friends say they will buy you if you do it.
The fight song. Your honors, my dad is a proud WSU alumni, so I grew up knowing everything about the cougs. I followed them religiously growing up and now attend my senior year at WSU. One thing I learned quickly was the fight song, but when I got to school here, I noticed that part of it was sung wrong by almost every student and was taught to them wrong at alive orientation. That is the O in the spelled out cougs. It used to be short and now it is a "oOo." My friends tell me that tradition is dead and I should not care about the change. So my question is, Should I adapt the weird new version of fight song, or should I cling to the old version of my youth?
Preston: We aren't talking about a full on lyric change here so I'd say to go with whatever you prefer. Personally, I go with the "oOo" because I think it sounds better and it's a little more fun but if you just wanna stick with the "O" (giggity), I say go right ahead.
Do you have a lawn for me to get off of though? I feel like this is a question that should be accompanied by that.
Sherwood: I have friends who are probably reading this who devoted Facebook-energy to complaining about people singing "We're gonna Win the Day for Crimson and Gray." If this is your lot in life, you have it made. We have officially run out of problems.
Evolve. Adapt. Drink. Dance like no one's watching and sing the fight song however the hell you want to sing it.
Sandritter: Agree with Preston, I'm fine with "oOo" or "O" whatever works. Plus, by the time it gets to that point, the fans around the stadium and the clapping are so off I'm not sure I've ever even noticed what O people go with.
Watched a gentleman get escorted out of Martin during the 3rd quarter of the Cal game because there was a beer can under his seat. I (kinda, maybe) understand enforcing alcohol policy, but it seems stupid to alienate/drive away fans when they're not being unruly or otherwise behaving poorly. Similarly, they started doing everything short of pat-downs on students getting into the game, and people can't get in to the game at all with anything resembling anything edible. I used to walk in with a pizza almost every game. Am I wrong to be frustrated with the new "no food, no nothing, we'll throw you out if you don't buy our concessions" policies at Martin?
Preston: I don't think you're wrong to be frustrated by it. It clearly represents a large shift in policy from what was in place before. I'd side with you on the inability to bring in your own food as some professional sports leagues allow people to bring in all their own snacks. When you consider what it costs for most people to make it to Pullman for a football game, insisting they buy your over-priced, mediocre food seems a little unreasonable.
As for the whole "beer under the seat" thing, I get where the people who took him away are coming from. Their job is to not allow anyone to drink alcohol brought in from outside so they're in the unenviable of having to do their job and make people angry when they do it. That said, this dude probably should've done a better job sneaking his booze in. Even with all the security measures on students, they're still going to get their hooch in. Students and their booze are like prisoners and their shaving razors. Every time the prison figures out how they hide it and how to detect it, they find a new way to hide them.
Sherwood: You should be kicked out of the game for bringing in a can of beer for no reason other than a lack of ingenuity. You're asking to get caught. Bring in liquor via plastic baggies or airplane bottles (they even make airplane bottle sized portions in baggies now!), hide a pony keg in a hollowed-out wheelchair. Do SOMETHING other than hiding a can of beer in your sleeve. How far are you going to get off that can? Not long enough to last you the full game. And then you're one of those jerks who leaves at halftime and never comes back because Valhalla is warm.
It seems like too much work to bring a picnic to a football game. Buy the damn pretzel with the cheese dunker and support the cub scouts or whatever group is running the booth that week.
Sandritter: Absolutely agree with Sherwood here. There are dozens of things people have created to be hidden flasks. Watches, ties, shoes, you name it and it exists. I got kicked off a golf course once for having an 18-pack sitting in the golf cart. I deserved it, it was a rookie move. You know what I did? I bought a fake golf club that was actually a flask.
Bringing in a can is just lazy.
Why are barns red?
Preston: It used to be because wealthy farmers would either add blood from a slaughter to the paint mixture or the less well-off farmers would add rust. It also helped seal the wood against fungus.
Nowadays? Just looks real perty.
Sherwood: I'll defer to you. I'm down a rabbit hole learning how to kill White Walkers.
Sandritter: When I was about 5 years old, I asked my grandpa this very question. He told me it was because of all the blood that spattered from slaughtering all the animals. I refused to eat my hamburger that night. My mom had to tell me he was only joking to get me to start eating meat again. Now Preston has basically confirmed the initial horrifying story and well I just lost my appetite.
Name for yellow lab pup Coug or Butch?
Preston: Butch. Coug is already the name for another animal and the only name like that I've ever heard that works is "Bear".
Other good dog names: Bledsoe, Gesser and if you have a pet who misbehaves and generally just pisses you off: Victory Lane.
Sherwood: Superfudge named his dog Turtle. Judy Blume disagrees with your assesment!
But absolutely name it Butch. If you name that thing "Coug," some toddler (possibly yours) who doesn't have his phonics down yet is going to call your dog something that sounds remarkably similar to "Poop." Guaranteed.
Sandritter: Agree on the ruling above. However, if I was getting a new animal/having a kid/naming anything right now I'd name it River. I'm fairly certain if you named your dog River it would dominate all the other dogs in fetch.