Craig usually fills this space each Saturday with stories of beer accompanied by pictures of his adorable peekapoo, Baxter. But since he's traveling (Craig, not the dog), he (and Baxter) will be unable to regale you with a stunningly detailed critique of a northeastern craft brew.
This isn't the first time Baxter has been unable to fulfill his CougCenter duties; Kyle's bulldog Lillian once ably stepped in with her liquor of the game.
The duty has fallen to me today, although there's a slight wrinkle: I have no pets, only children. Which is kinda the same thing, in that they can be incredibly cute, look to me for all their needs, and are prone to destroy things. So I'm going to co-op one of my kids today.
Joshua, at seven years old, is the oldest of my three boys. One of the first phrases he learned as a child, after "Go Cougs," is "Huskies are yuck." (I figured I might get him in trouble at school someday if I'd just gone with the standard "Huskies suck.) He doesn't particularly enjoy watching football yet, but he does love the Cougars.
Example: I took the whole family to the Rutgers game in Seattle. As Joshua spent most of the game messing around on his mom's phone while eating popcorn and candy, he did not notice his nervous father slowly pulling out all of his hair during the closer-than-expected contest.
When it was over, he cheerfully looked over at me and said, "Did the Cougars win?" I smiled: "No, buddy. They didn't." He stared at me blankly with disbelief written all over his face, and then ...
TEARS. Like, real deal fountain works. Most normal parents would probably be sympathetic to their child's emotional fragility, but not me! I had to stifle a laugh. Because, well, welcome to the club, kid! This is life as a Coug, and sometimes we cry and sometimes we laugh and sometimes we laugh AND cry!
So, in lieu of using my kid to say something about alcohol -- I figure that's probably bad form as both a parent and an educator -- I figured Joshua could tell you joke so that you can make sure an laugh at least once today, since I'm pretty sure we all know how today is going to go after about 1:30 p.m.
Take it away, Joshua!
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Oh, and for the record: When we get back from Joshua's flag football game today and I watch the game on DVR, I'll be having a Bridgeport Hop Czar Topaz Copper IPA.
Share your own joke and/or beverage below. Just try and make your joke one that's appropriate for my kid to read, ok?