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A list of things Deone Bucannon can beat in a race

Deone Bucannon ran a 4.49 40 yard dash. Deone Bucannon is fast.

Deone is fast.
Deone is fast.
Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Deone Bucannon ran 40 yards in 4 and a half seconds yesterday. A 4.49 second 40 yard dash translates to roughly 18.2 MPH. Here's a list of things that Deone Bucannon can (theoretically) beat in a 40 yard dash*.

*This is how this works. Don't argue with me. I took a math a couple of semesters ago. I know what I'm talking about.

Things Bucannon would beat in a race:

Mississippi State Offensive Lineman Gabe Jackson - 15 MPH

Marquess Wilson - 18.1 MPH

Rich Eisen - 13.6 MPH

A Six-Lined race runner (lizard) - 18 MPH

A Squirrel - 12 MPH

Roger Banister (Runner of the first 4 minute mile) - 15 MPH

A Black Mamba - 14 MPH

The Black Mamba - Old MPH

Average 40 time of every CougCenter author combined (estimated) - 5 MPH (Note: Take out myself and probably Preston and they would beat Deone. Sandritter and Sherwood are deceptively fast.)

Cars in some school zones - 15 MPH

The Canter of a horse - 10-17 MPH

Tom Brady - 15.5 MPH

Washington Drivers in the Fast Lane - 15 MPH (If we lucky, am I right?)

Three Toed Sloth - 3 MPH

Jesus Montero - See: Three Toed Sloth

Things Bucannon would lose to in a race:

Dale Earnhardt Jr. in Daytona 500 (average) - 145.3 MPH

Light - 670,616,629 MPH

The first list is much bigger.

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