After spending some time in our chambers eating totchos and drinking brown liquor, we spent some much needed time in the Little Judges' Room. After we got our systems cleared out though, we retired back to our chambers and made our rulings on the questions you asked us.
Unlike those nine old fogeys in their fancy building in Washington, we don't need interns to sprint our HAWT WSU SPORTS JUDGES TAEKS to you. We just copy and paste it onto the Internet because it's 2015 and it's only a matter of time before one of those interns cracks an ankle turning their high heel in a crack on that stone.
First scenario: So I know a guy that while we were in school, he never went to or watched any games saying why should he bother since they suck. After the Oregon game, he started posting about how much he loves the cougs every weekend. He also still roots for Gonzaga over the cougs in basketball.
Another scenario: While watching the CFP, I begin rooting for Iowa to win the championship.
Last scenario: Someone begins to watch the NHL and picks the LA Kings or Chicago Blackhawks as their team since no NHL team exists in their area.
So my questions are: What do you believe a bandwagon fan to be? Are all of those scenarios bandwagon fandom? How should longtime fans react to bandwagon fans? How cool is it that we can ask a question like this?
Preston: Bandwagon fans can be a pain but as a person who roots for a school who desperately needs them to buy some T-shirts from the Bookie's online store, I'll never complain if they come around.
That being said, Scenario One is pretty much the prototypical definition of one. Throw in his Gonzaga fandom for good measure and I'm not sure why you'd say he's a guy you knew. I'd refer to him as "that douche I went to high school with who is still working at Little Caesars in (insert home town cause I have no idea where you're from)."
Scenario Two isn't really bandwagon fandom; you're not gunna start being obnoxious on social media and you won't go get a dumb tattoo of a logo on your person. It's temporary rooting interest meant to keep you engaged. Scenario Three is certainly more bandwagon-y but hey, you could've picked the Canucks to stomp on your heart every postseason.
Bandwagon fans come with the territory of any team being success (See: anyone who has "LIFELONG SEAHAWKS FAN! #12 #GOHAWKS" in their Twitter profile) so if you have them ... it's probably a good thing. Yeah, it's annoying that they'll hop off the moment there's a speed bump but just keep your head down like you're attractive woman at the airport Marriott during a carpet sales convention and you'll be fine.
Sherwood: As I age, I find the idea of unconditional fandom more and more foreign. How can you justify watching the Mariners over the past decade? I had season tickets through the entire Wulff era and nobody gave me a medal. So root for whoever the hell you want to root for. Don't let the unconditional fans bully you into paying attention to garbage under the notion of loyalty. You know who has unconditional win or lose fans? Crappy teams.
Your Gonzaga guy is probably in his mid-late 30's? I remember in the late 90's/early aughts when the Cougs were pretending Paul Graham was a good idea and Casey Calvary took our hearts along with the rest of the nation. WSU started to care about basketball right around the time Gonzaga stopped being the lovable scrappy underdog, so they were pretty easy to discard for me, but I can imagine a scenario where he's legitimately staying with the first college basketball team he loved. Not his fault WSU wasn't pretty during the years they could've hooked him.
Now if your friend is 22, he's an unrepentant idiot and you should notarize a letter explaining why you can no longer be friends before you finish reading this.
College football is really only a realistic sport for like 12 schools in the country. So when one of the non blue-bloods has a shot at the title, it's your duty to root for them. Only dicks root for the Empire.
Do nothing to the bandwagon fans. If they're not there, it means there's nothing to root for. Do you really want Seahawks tickets to be readily available and what that implies? Fandom has to start somewhere. When the Seahawks eventually go 3-13, many of them will fall off the bandwagon. But not all of them. And that's how you get your 2nd generation of diehards.
Sandritter: During the Seahawks 2004 playoff game against the Rams I sat near a guy who wore a Seahawks jacket with a Rams jersey underneath. He literally swapped the two depending on who was winning the game. He cheered all 60 minutes, just for different teams. Be less obnoxious than that and everything is good in my book.
What am I supposed to get my father in law for Christmas?
Coug alumni with enough Crimson/gray clothing for the rest of his life, but on the other hand I feel like I never have enough WSU stuff.
Preston: I usually just get mine the biggest bottle of Don Julio I can find so I'm probably the wrong person ask.
Definitely not underwear, though.
Sherwood: Brown Liquor. Get it for everyone. Your father in law, your boss, your daughter, your mailman, your cat. Everyone.
Sandritter: Obviously something from the CougCenter gift guide. Or booze, always booze.
In an effort to recreate the "good old days," your college buddies have rented a house for 4 days in Pullman. Thursday-Sunday, with a football game Saturday. The idea is to have a few house parties, resurrecting old greats like pong, power hours, flip cup, quarters, kings cup, what have you.
The question to the judges is: assuming a "everyone pitches in for alcohol" scenario, what would you bring to drink to such an event? Would you stick with piss beer for a true retro feel? Bring craft brews to show your age? Make a cooler concoction of some sort?
Bonus points for specific brands or recipes.
Preston: I'd likely go in with the intention of trying to drink like the 21-year old version of me did but that would quickly be tossed aside for ibuprofen, Tums, and a crap load of Gatorade.
If I was smart, here's how I'd do it:
-Busch Light for all the games you mention above because I still have a hard time drinking "good" beer in massive quantities when I'm not caring about the flavor. It's not a stomach thing, mind you. I just don't want to pay more than a dollar a can/bottle and then guzzle it back like an 18-year old in Mexico.
-Good stuff for every time in between. This is when you can commiserate with old buddies, pass around different bottles to try, and generally have a good time talking about the good ol' days while you're having good beer. I feel like cigars would be involved here, too. Get whatever looks good at Total Wine and More.
-The Drink for pre-game. A legendary beverage invented by one of my friends. We'll protect the innocent by changing his name:
Evon-Dray's The Drink:
-One bottle of vodka
-One bottle of Andre's
-Flavor with a fruit juice of your choice to taste
Sherwood: I've more or less stopped drinking beer. It gives me the worst hangover if I have like two of them. I can drink liquor forever though and wake up feeling fine. Plus once you hit about 33, your bladder shrinks to roughly the size of a grape so straight booze is really the only thing you can handle without excusing yourself every 20 minutes.
You mentioned you're throwing a party. Who is coming to this party? I enjoy Will Ferrell movies too, but college girls aren't showing up to an old man's rental house. Are we offering these girls money? Will they take money? Did I just become the old man at the rental house for asking that question? I'm not playing drinking games with my old college friends. That's how people die. We used to play a game called the "F*ck You, Drink" game where you'd just point at someone and say "F*ck You, Drink" and they'd just do it. Like no questions or anything. Just finish up and start a new one. I can't imagine trying that without being 19.
Clearly my final answer is cases and cases of Boone's Farm and Green Mad Dog.
Sandritter: I'm more worried about food and eating things that come back up as smooth as possible because if I tried to relive college over four days now, that isn't ending well.
Who is more insufferable: GU fans or UW fans?
Preston: For non-Apple Cup week edition, Gonzaga by a country mile. UW at least shared a national title to give them the unbearable sense of entitlement.
Sherwood: Oh stop. You don't mean that. There is nothing (NOTHING!) that rivals the unearned arrogance coming out of South Lynnwood. I expect a retraction shortly.
Preston: I'm the king of HAWT TAEKS. I stand by my statement no matter how wrong it is (it isn't though).
Name 3 WSU Cougars you would invite over for dinner & drinks
All expenses paid.
Preston: Sports Edition: Bob Robertson, Klay Thompson, Drew Bledsoe
Non-sports playing edition: Keith Jackson, Edward R. Murrow, Paul Allen
Regular Cougar Edition: Connie Britton and two people to bring us wine
Sherwood: Does my wife know about this dinner? The answers will differ. This is important.
Sandritter: Joe Salave'a for good stories about the islands and to watch in awe as he obliterates steaks. Keith Jackson for all of the stories. Jason David to see if he would taunt everyone in the place.
I live in Boise and can't go 20 feet in stores without finding blue and orange, but have to look under rocks for anything Crimson and Gray. If you had to pick any ncaa fanbase to be immersed in the center of (besides WSU), which one would you choose?
Preston: Iowa, so I could actually explain them being good to my still many years off children. (But seriously, that fanbase is having so much fun even with the loss in the Big Ten Championship.)
Sherwood: I was just in Hawaii, and we stopped off in a Target to get provisions for the week and there was an aisle of U of H gear. If it means getting to hang out in 80 degree weather in December, immerse me there forever. Those Rainbow uniforms are hot fire.
Sandritter: I enjoy the handful of UNC fans I know and there would be good barbecue. Plus I could rally with them in hating Duke.
Would you rather...
a) the Cougs lose the AC but win the P12 CG, OR
b) win the AC but lose the P12 CG?
Assume that the Cougs end up in the same bowl game regardless (in other words, they've wrapped up the North prior to the AC but won't be in the CFP in either scenario). This likely means that in Option B, the CG winner does go to the CFP, leaving the Rose still available (and #2 in the South is still less desirable). Point is to make this as much of an either/or choice as possible.
Provide rationale for your choice (such as effects on recruiting, rankings, dealing with Husky co-workers, etc.).
by 89Coug in FL
Preston: Option A. Forget all the rest of the reasons, yeah, they could rub it in your face that they won the Apple Cup but WSU will own an outright conference championship. UW hasn't won one since the first Bush was in the Oval Office. Gimme that.
Sherwood: I would lose the damn Apple Cup every year if it means we win the conference. I am trying to see things your way where this might be a tough call, but it really isn't. UW Fans are the worst. THE WORST. But they can talk all they want if we got them rings.
Sandritter: I'm also going A and the main reason is because I want to run around like an idiot with a rose in my mouth. That's not nearly as exciting to do once you back in because a team gets plucked for the playoff.
Was Brink vs. Rogers the stupidest QB "competition" in WSU history?
Preston: Lobbestael v. Lopina
Sherwood: I still have my Team Birnbaum card somewhere.
Sandritter: If I have to hear about that one drive against Auburn one more time, my head may explode.