Welcome back. I don’t even know what to say. Everything pretty much blew up in our face last weekend. So much so that we’ve managed to lose nearly double what we won last season. It’s clear that the “as the Cougs go, so goes the Gamble-Tron” theory has gone up in flames. The only known this season is that disaster lurks around every turn, and we need a vacation.
But wait, we can’t take a vacation now! This is the weekend it all turns around! We’re about to win every penny back! You heard me, every damn one! Who’s with me??!! (Anybody know the phone number to Pretend Gamblers Anonymous?)
Why I’m a genius: USC made me sweat a little bit. Ok, I saw about four minutes, but I hear it was close(ish) until late. Luckily they pulled away. Utah, oh Utah. Who would have thought that a punt by a quarterback would be the play that turned the game? The Utes kept it close enough, though. I had a feeling Stanford would cover, but I did not realize how truly awful Arizona is playing these days. Ghastly.
Why I’m an idiot: I should have latched on to the fact that ASU is a completely different team on the road. That is, one of the worst teams in the conference. Nope. Cougs, come on. You haven’t beaten a number since Stanford. If you’d told me that WSU would outscore OSU 29-7 in the second half, I’d have bet the mortgage. Oh well.
Air Force couldn’t beat one of the worst teams in FBS by more than 10 points. Wild blue yonder my ass. Houston got down so far that I lost all hope. Somehow, they rallied to go up seven. Then, in the final minute, THEY COULDN’T SCORE ON THREE TRIES FROM INSIDE THE THREE WHY GOD WHY. Finally, is there any bigger fraud in 2016 than Tennessee? One week, they’re catching Hail Marys. A few weeks later, they’re losing to an awful team led by a kid who should be a senior in high school. I’ve always, and I mean always, hated Tennessee. This is just more fuel for the fire.
Last Week: 3-5
Season Total: 31-43-1
Cash Balance: -$1870
- stewak: 3-3 (Go Pups) / -$30
- MileHighPharmer: 0-6 (time to consult Molly) / -$660
- Ryan Eames: 3-5 / -$245
- BothwaysUphill: 2-3 / -$130
- cougman the II: 6-3 / $270
- hollyweirdcoug: 2-5 / -$790
- DenverCoug: 3-5 / -$470
- cmaddex: 2-3 / -$130
- wsu4life: 1-5 / -$450
- ptowncoug3012: 0-4 / -$600
UCLA (+12.5/-110) at Colorado (-12.5/-110): Colorado has been wrecking teams at home all season. UCLA has been getting wrecked most of the season. Everything points to Colorado, which is why I’m going full George Contanza and going against what I think is the best decision.
The Pick: $110 on UCLA
Oregon State (+14.5/-110) at Stanford (-14.5/-110): The Beavs are feisty...at home. On the road? Not so much. Even if Gary Andersen invents a reason to be mad at David Shaw (as he did with Leach), Stanford should win comfortably. They should win comfortably despite the fact that awful Keller Chryst is apparently still the quarterback.
The Pick: $220 on Stanford
Arizona (+17/-110) at WSU (-17/-110): All signs indicate a boatrace here. Arizona’s quarterback situation is a mess. They’re starting a former receiver at running back. Their defense is as bad as it was last season. Injuries all over the place. On the other side, WSU hasn’t exactly started quickly of late. Quite the opposite, in fact. Did we mention that WSU hasn’t beaten Arizona at home since 2003? They’ve won in Tucson three times since then. The Cougs should blow them out.
The Pick: $110 on Arizona
Oregon (+17/-110) at USC (-17/-110): The good news - it looks like Oregon has its quarterback. The bad news - Oregon still doesn’t have a defense, and USC has been quite explosive since Sam Darnold took the helm. The Trojans appear to gaining confidence with each passing week.
The Pick: $110 on USC
Washington (-16.5/-110) at Cal (+16.5/-110): As with teams such as ASU and OSU, Cal is a different team at home. Did you know that Cal has gone win / loss / win / loss / win / loss / win / loss this season? Well, guess what’s next in that lineup? More importantly for Cougar fans, guess what’s after that. Yep, a Coug win! Anyway, Washington is going to beat Cal to death with those Marshawn bobbleheads.
The Pick: $110 on Washington
Central Michigan (-4/-110) at Miami (OH) (+4/-110): FRIDAY NIGHT #MACTION. Ok, I think to qualify as #MACTION the game has to take place on a Tuesday or Wednesday. Either way, I think the Chippewas win this one easily.
The Pick: $220 on Central Michigan
San Jose State (+29/-110) at Boise State (-29/-110): Blood everywhere.
The Pick: $330 on your 2016 Pointsettia Bowl Champions
Florida State (-6.5/-110) at NC State (+6.5/-110): Florida State may have three losses, but they’re still pretty damn good. NC State may have four wins, but they’re still pretty damn bad. They left everything in Death Valley.
The Pick: Talkin’ bout dem ‘Noles for $220