Check out the gifts WSU players will get from the Holiday Bowl

There are many benefits to bowl games. The extra practices, the additional game for fans, the chance to play a team you would ordinarily never get to see, and, for the players anyway, gifts! I mean, they can’t accept gifts at any other time but hey, the bowl game can flip ya some swag!

Lets break down what the Cougs are getting from the National Funding Holiday Bowl (nothing from National Funding though, which does small business loans and equipment leasing. This kills my hope for some sort of Gabe Marks “Cough Machine” business).

-Holiday Bowl Fossil Watch: TIL Fossil was still around. I think I still have one of their watches in the tins they sold them in buried in my basement.

-Holiday Bowl Hat: As a person’s whose hair looks awful mere weeks after it gets cut but also utterly refuses to get a haircut every friggin’ month, I’m always for increasing your hat collection.

-$425 Best Buy Gift Suite: I’ve legitimately never understood using the term “suite” here. Like, do they leave the gifts in a hotel suite and you just get to pick $425 worth of stuff? Is it a Best Buy themed suite that you get to stay in? Just use basket. I don’t care if it’s not an actual basket. Stop confusing me.

-Holiday Bowl Ring: Bling is always good. I look good with my fake Los Angeles Kings championship ring.

-Holiday Bowl Warm Ups and Gear: As a person who works until the wee hours of the morning and is usually not out of bed before 11 a.m., any type of clothing that is comfortable to lounge around in is great by me. “Gear” though ... what is that? That might be even more ambiguous than the “gift suite”. Is it some sort of cog? Perhaps a camera used in a television production? TELL ME, HOLIDAY BOWL.

-Wireless Beats Earbuds: Normal earbuds are easy enough to lose but wireless? These probably need to come with a homing beacon but they’ll probably get dropped through a heating grate regardless.