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Recapping the Gamble-Tron's year in pretend football gambling

How did we do in 2015?

Michael Reaves/Getty Images

Welcome to the Gamble-Tron's inaugural installment of 2016. I know what you're thinking. What sports could we possibly wager on in the barren wasteland known as late June? Good question. I can't think of anything worth watching right now, so instead, we'll take a look back at how things went in 2015.

We'll start first with the preseason Over/Under totals. That...did not go well.

Winners:

  • Washington Over 4 wins. Comment: That was easy.
  • UCLA Under 9.5 wins. Comment: Shorting Jim Mora is never a poor choice.
  • Notre Dame Over 9 wins. Comment: Probably would have been even further over if they hadn't had to play QB musical chairs again.
  • Kansas Under 1.5 wins. Comment: This was locked up after a Week 1 loss to an FCS team. Man, it sure would suck to start the season like that. I mean, what?
  • Iowa Over 7.5 wins: Like all of you, I knew this one would be wrapped up before November.

Losers:

  • WSU Under 5 wins. Comment: I've got no problem with this.
  • Oregon Over 9.5 wins. Comment: Injury-prone Vernon Adams coupled with a garbage barge defense may have hurt this one.
  • ASU Over 8.5 wins. Comment: They lost a couple really close games, but this one was basically decided after their no-show against Texas A&M.
  • USC Over 8.5 wins. Comment: One super dumb loss to Washington later, and I'm tearing up the betting slip.
  • Cal Under 5 wins. Comment: This was probably my most risky play, but man, Cal was sooooo close to going 4-8.
  • Idaho Under 3.5 wins: Everything on the internet says Idaho won four games. I still don't believe it.
  • Florida Under 7.5 wins: Turns I grossly underestimated the awfulness of the SEC East.

On to the regular season where things got, much better? That's right. We didn't do too poorly throughout 2015. Like the Cougars, our performance in 2015 was exponentially better than the year prior. Over the course of the regular season, the Gamble-Tron spit out a record of 55-42-2. We even called four outright underdog upsets in 10 tries, including WSU over Arizona, and were agonizingly close in a couple others.

That led to a profit of $1,115 heading into bowl season. For the second year in a row, little kids got in on the action, as everybody and nobody can predict what will happen in these bowl games. My oldest boy ended up at 4-5-1, while the younger of the two went 5-4-1 (he's now had a winning record in each of his two bowl seasons). Their cousin was also 5-4-1.

How about the Gamble-Tron? Well, it didn't go very well. Our website predictions came in at a subpar 5-6-1. The two extra games occurred on the first weekend of bowl season, before the boys made their predictions. But along the way, a funny thing happened, as the Gamble-Tron started tweeting some picks.

Well that worked out. Maybe we should try this again? Why not!

As the commentator in NBA Jam used to say, he's heating up! Might as well stay on the SEC train.

S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C!

Look, I'm not proud of it. But in the end, money talks.

That hot streak resulted in an 8-6-1 bowl record, and a decent profit of $1,255 for the entirety of the college football season. Can't wait to do it again.

Football

Joe Salave'a Wants Every Polynesian Kid To Have The Same Chance To Play Football That He Had Football Matters
But it turns out relocating to Pullman, Wa., was more than a move to take a job for an out-of-work coach. Pullman may be small-town America, but Salave’a says he and his wife and two children enjoy the Pacific Northwest. He has turned down job offers to remain with Leach and the Cougars.

Beer

Best beer I had this week: Lagunitas Sucks. It's really good. I can understand how that may be confusing to non-beer nerds, but just trust me.

The Debate Over Hops In Craft Beer Is Positively Medieval - Forbes
Safe to say Henry VIII never would have been elected governor of Washington had he run on a "no hops in beer" platform.

Non-Sports

The Affair of Robert Bentley, Alabama's Horndog Governor | GQ
ROOOOLLLLLLLL TIIIIIIIIDE!! WAAAAAR EAGLE!!