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Pac-12 Football odds and picks: The Gamble-Tron, Week 12

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Things should’ve gotten better. Things didn’t.

Sandra Bullocks Home On Tybee Island, Georgia Photo by Stephen Morton/Getty Images

Welcome back. I’m glad you’re here! To coin a phrase nobody has ever written - It is the best of times. It is the worst of times. The ‘best’ part is the fact that WSU is one win away from its first Pac-12 North title, and is currently No. 14 in the CFP rankings. The ‘worst’ part is the fact that the Gambe-Tron is playing more like the #StagnantO than the #SpeedD, especially in conference games.

This should come as no surprise, since we haven’t been able to crack the Pac-12 cipher lock all season. That’s mostly our own fault, as we’ve wantonly ignored trends that are right in front of us, such as the taking the home team on Friday night, no matter what. The only time that worked out was when we took Cal +14. Kinda wish that was the only one we’d lost! Anyhow, let’s take a look back.

Why I’m a genius: Hey, so, how ‘bout them Trojans?! Covered by a whopping half-a-point! Never a doubt, especially with Colorado inside the five late in the game, looking for a meaningless TD! Elsewhere, as you’ll see below, we hit on three of four early games. Not bad! Texas A&M isn’t very good, but whoa boy has New Mexico ever fallen off a cliff. As soon as that Oklahoma line dipped below 7 (it was 7.5 for much of the week) it was the perfect time to pounce.

Should’ve been 4-0, at which point we’d have packed it in. But no, one loss made us go back to the well.

Could’ve been worse.

Why I’m an idiot: Look, if Kyle Whittingham had sent me a text telling me they’d turn the ball over SEVEN times, my pick probably would’ve been different. I see you, Stanford. Playing possum for much of the season, only to pounce and make WSU fans happy. But did you have to allow that last touchdown that exceeded to total? That wasn’t very nice.

Congratulations to the Beavers for figuring out the “this game was never competitive but we still covered the spread” formula. Great job! Always great when a team (ASU) rushes for 290+ and loses. Somebody show Todd Graham the door. Special thanks to Coastal Carolina for scoring an inconsequential touchdown in the last couple minutes to get within 14. DID I MENTION THE LINE WAS 15 OH YOU CAN SEE IT UP THERE WELL I’M GOING TO YELL ABOUT IT ANYWAY.

Took a flyer on FIU, thinking they could beat a team that lost 6-0 the week prior. Never take flyers, kids. And you won’t believe this, but Notre Dame didn’t live up to the hype. I know, I’m stunned too!

Last Week: 8-8

Season Total: 59-61-5

Cash Balance: -$1930 (sad face)

But wait, this week is already off to a good start, thanks to Terry Bowden and his, uh, interesting hair color!

Won outright! Winner winner, Bobcat dinner.

ASU (-7/-110) at OSU (+7/-110): Ok, Beavs. You totally owe me one after being non-competitive yet doing just enough to cover by one damn point last week. Additionally, I’m tired of going against home underdogs. Additionally additionally, I get to root against Todd Graham.

The Pick: $110 on OSU

Arizona at Oregon (Pick ‘em/-110): Will he, or won’t he? Am I talking about Justin Herbert playing? Am I talking about Willie Taggart going to Florida? Am I talking about Khalil Tate busting another 70 yard run? All are possible. I want Arizona to lose for WSU bowl reasons, and I think Herbert plays. Plus, like most Pac-12 teams, Arizona isn’t as good on the road.

The Pick: $110 on Oregon

Cal (+16/-110) at Stanford (-16/-110): Speaking of teams who stink on the road and play well at home, hey there, Cal. I get the feeling that David Shaw asked Bryce Love to leave it all on the field last week in exchange for resting him a bit in this game. The only hope is a backdoor cover, and I think (ok hope, ok pray) Cal gets a late score.

The Pick: $110 on Cal

UCLA (+15.5/-110) at USC (-15.5/-110): USC has the Pac-12 title game in its sights. UCLA has the offseason in its sights. UCLA is historically bad at rushing defense. Ronald Jones is a person who exists in the USC backfield who should run a 5K on Saturday. I’d take USC minus three touchdowns in this game. In other words, they’ll kick a late field goal to win.

The Pick: $220 on Tommy and the Trojans

Utah (+17/-110) at Washington (-17/-110): Angry Huskies. Incompetent Utes. Not a good combo if you’re hoping for a Utah win here.

The Pick: $110 on Washington

Purdue (+7.5/-110) at Iowa (-7.5/-110): Iowa has been a bit up and down. First they napalm Ohio State, then they get curb-stomped at Wisconsin. Purdue seems like a good cure for what ails such things.

The Pick: $110 on Iowa

Virginia (+20/-110) at Miami (-20/-110): You’d think I’d learn a lesson not to fade Miami after what happened these last two weeks. But in order to learn a lesson, one must be somewhat intelligent. You won’t find that here. Does Miami ever play on the road? They haven’t lately. What makes this game different is that they’re playing at noon, in front of what will surely be fewer people, and they’ll probably be sleepwalking.

The Pick: $110 on UVa

Florida International (+14/-110) at Florida Atlantic (+14/-110): Making this pick for two reasons. First, the Owls have been lighting teams on fire. Second, I’m pissed at FIU for laying that egg last week. That second one is a cardinal sin of gambling. ASK ME IF I CARE WAIT DON’T BECAUSE I DON’T.

The Pick: $330 on Fla Atl

Go Cougs