clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Mike Leach gives his best wedding advice

New, 49 comments

Mike Leach will you advice on anything. Just ask!

NCAA Football: Stanford at Washington State James Snook-USA TODAY Sports

As you probably already know, it’s Apple Cup week. During the build up to a huge rivalry game, you would think interview with the head coach would be dominated by questions about WSU’s cross-state opponent and how big a game they have on tap. Well.... Reporters tried, but Leach wasn’t having it...

So, as they often do with Leach, the questions went a little off topic. On Tuesday, a reporter who is scheduled to get married in nine days asked Leach for some wedding advice. Coach, didn’t hold back.

Here is a brief and selective transcription of what Leach had to offer.

My Wisdom would be: You have to stay out of the way...

When it comes to marriages, the women lose their mind. Your fiance is going to lose her mind. Your mother in law is going to lose her mind. Your mom is going to lose her mind...

They’re going to barrage you with constant questions. What should we wear? To which my answer is: I don’t care. What color should the invitations be? I don’t care. What should be have for desert? I don’t care.

You see, I don’t care is not satisfactory at all. You’re going to get caught in a catch-22, and I’m sure you already have. That Catch-22 is, ‘I want you to be a part of the too!’

So what color invitations? Alright, the blue ones. ‘I kind of like the tan ones.’ Alright, the tan ones, then. ‘Well, you’re just saying that because you want this over with, you’re not even thinking about it!’ Which is of course, true.

It’s just going to go back and forth and they’re going to play keep away from you until you’re married. So, what you need to do is work late hours. Be very nice and supportive, but they’re going to play keep away from you and there is no answer you can give that is going to be satisfactory and correct.

So you need to work late. Go in the back room and read a lot of books. You have to go take the groomsmen out and make sure that they march in just right. In the end, you’ll wish you eloped.

You need to find excuses that they’ll buy to stay as far out of harms way as you possibly can. But take comfort in knowing that once the ceremony is over that life will get progressively better from there even though there is some adjustment.

As an unmarried man myself, I can’t gauge the quality of Leach’s life advice. But from my experience with movies and sitcoms, it looks spot on.

Football

Alex Grinch Named Broyles Award Semifinalist
Washington State defensive coordinator Alex Grinch has been named one of 15 semifinalists for the Broyles Award, the Frank and Barbara Broyles Foundation announced Tuesday.

Victory in Apple Cup critical for Washington State (Nov 25, 2017) | FOX Sports
A spot in the Pac-12 Championship Game is on the line for No. 13 Washington State when it visits No. 17 Washington in Seattle on Saturday.

No. 14 WSU brings improved defense into Apple Cup | KOMO
Washington State has been turning heads with its offense for years and this season the defense has been doing the same.

Five to remember: Sorting through the most important Apple Cups in Washington State history | The Spokesman-Review
The Washington State Cougars and Washington Huskies have played in the Apple Cup a grand total of 109 times and it’d be ill-informed to say there’s ever been a meaningless one.

Washington State, Washington both move up in latest installment of College Football Playoff rankings | The Spokesman-Review
The 110th Apple Cup will feature the teams ranked No. 13 and 17 in the newest edition of the College Football Playoff rankings.

As Stanford and Washington State sweat out final weekend, USC waits for Pac-12 championship game in comfort - LA Times
Football coach David Shaw spoke with Stanford athletic officials this week to devise a plan for the Cardinal’s game against Notre Dame on Saturday.

Basketball

Ex-Washington State star Aron Baynes gives Celtics toughness, big personality | The Spokesman-Review
When the Boston Celtics signed Aron Baynes in July, they expected the former Washington State University big man to add size and toughness to their squad.