Pac-12 Football odds and picks: The Gamble-Tron, Week Five

Welcome back. Hey, so I hear there’s a rather sizable game taking place in Pullman on Friday. I’d love to be there. Matter of fact, I am supposed to be there, but American Airlines is doing their damndest to prevent it. So as I sit on a deserted part of the ramp, waiting in excess of 45 minutes just to taxi back to the gate, so they can look at the malfunctioning Traffic Collision Avoidance System (which probably won’t be fixable throwing the operations managers into even more chaos), why don’t we talk about last week’s results and this this week’s lines?

UPDATE: Airborne!

Why I’m a genius: Yeah, I totally should’ve lost that West Virginia game. But I didn’t! I’m always wary of taking WSU and laying so many points, but that was quite stress-free. In hindsight, that Oregon line was so dumb. Glad I figured it out beforehand. South Florida should have rolled, and they did.

Speaking of rolling, Anyone who thought Vanderbilt would come within 30 points of the Tide has clearly been huffing gas. Alabama rarely covers huge spreads against out-of-conference patsies. They do, however, keep their foot on the gas when it comes to SEC play.

Why I’m an idiot: Well clearly the majority of my buffoonery stems from the fact that I keep betting Pac-12 games, even though my other bets are doing much better. Thought I had that Arizona pick nailed, but of course they decided to hand the ball to Utah like drill instructors hand out pushups, and Utah covered. Had a feeling about that Colorado game, but took them anyway. Derp!

You know your team sucks when they can’t even beat Rutgers handily at home. Come on down, Nebraska! Something tells me Tanner Lee won’t be back at the Manning Passing Academy next summer, or ever. I knew UCLA’s defense was bad, but holy moly, I had no idea they were that putrid. Defensive specialists Jim Mora and Todd Graham still can’t field decent defenses.

And now, let’s talk a little about the dreaded backdoor cover. There is no greater feeling than when an underdog you picked scores a meaningless touchdown at the end of the game to get on the right side of the spread. On the other hand, there is no worse feeling than when a favorite you picked surrenders a meaningless touchdown to get on the wrong side of a spread. Guess which side I was on in the USC-Cal game. Hint: IT WASN’T THE WINNING SIDE.

Last Week: 5-5

Season Total: 23-18-2

Cash Balance: $570 Going in a bit bigger on the Tide and Bulls saved us.

USC (-3.5/-110) at WSU (+3.5/-110): This line was up near seven before last Saturday. This week, it opened at 4.5 and went...even lower? This game will come down to who wins the battle between WSU’s offensive line and USC’s defensive line. Alas, I don’t think we will like the result.

The Pick: $110 on USC

ASU (+17/-110) at Stanford (-17/-110): This is quite tricky. ASU isn’t as good as they showed last week. I’m not sure Stanford is either. The Cardinal have been incredibly inconsistent, and may be starting a a young QB this week. UCLA’s defense fell apart down the stretch, and ASU may do the same. But somehow I think Todd Graham’s charges do just enough to not get blown out. Sun Devil football everyone!

The Pick: $110 on ASU

Cal (+13.5/-110) at Oregon (-13.5/-110): This game opened at Oregon -16. Somebody, or several somebodies, suddenly became enamored with Cal. While I think the Bears are the conference’s biggest surprise, I don’t know whether they can keep up with Justin Herbert and Royce Freeman, especially after that emotional game last Saturday.

The Pick: $110 on Oregon

Washington (-26.5/-110) at OSU (+26.5/-110): UW was quite impressive down the stretch last week. OSU hasn’t been impressive since about 2012. Lots of injuries here, as OSU is missing starting QB Jake Luton, and UW is missing Chico McClatcher. OSU will absolutely try to shorten this game with Ryan Nall. Well, that’s what they should do anyway. Haven’t been on the right side of a UW spread yet, so I’m going against my gut.

The Pick: $110 on OSU

Colorado (+7.5/-110) at UCLA (-7.5/-110): Another line that moved significantly, as UCLA opened favored by just 4.5. Did the odds-makers see something I didn’t last week? Colorado isn’t as bad as they looked. I think UCLA is as bad as they looked. Plus, this is a classic Bruce Feldman Body Blow Theory game. If this were less than a touchdown, I’d take UCLA. But that hook. Man, that hook.

The Pick: $110 on Colorado

North Carolina (+9.5/-110) at Georgia Tech (-9.5/-110): Georgia Tech should be 3-0, but they collapsed against Tennessee. North Carolina should absolutely not be 3-0, because they stink. And I don’t have to lay double digits? Yes, please.

The Pick: $220 on the Ramblin’ Wreck

Iowa (+3.5/-110) at Michigan State (-3.5/-110): In what should be a letdown spot for Iowa, what with their heart-breaker last weekend, I see a bounce back instead. Plus, Michigan State isn’t that good yet. Plus plus, Kirk Ferentz detests Mark Dantonio. Iowa will be ready.

The Pick: $110 on the Hawks

Navy (-7/-110) at Tulsa (+7/-110): This opened at Navy -2.5. Now it’s up to seven??!! Tulsa has lost its last two games by a total of six points. Navy hasn’t looked stellar since the opener. I will happily take the home team getting a touchdown.

The Pick: $110 on Tulsa

Eastern Michigan at Kentucky (O/U 49/-110): Random point total of the week. Just trust me on this one.

The Pick: $220 on the Under