Welcome back. As we rapidly approach the midpoint of the season, we are barely - and I mean barely - keeping our collective heads above water. Ever since a pretty good first weekend, things have been on a steady decline. We haven’t cratered as badly as the football team, but things aren’t exactly looking good!
Last week wasn’t going too badly when we put head to pillow, but by the time we woke up Sunday morning, things had taken a turn for the worse. Then we saw the UW score and the sun started to shine a bit brighter! Even though it meant a loss! So now we head into another week of tough calls and unknown injuries which make things incredibly complicated. Let’s see what we can screw up this time.
Why I love gambling: Un-der. Feel the un-der. Bet-ting on the Un-der! We should have won the Air Force-Navy under, but the Zoomies screwed us for the second straight week by deciding not to play defense OH BY THE WAY AIR FORCE YOU’RE PART OF THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE WTF. Anyway, luckily we rebounded on Twitter, nailing the unders in both Baylor-Kansas State and Nebraska-Northwestern.
Why I hate gambling: I don’t hate gambling so much as I hate how bad I am at gambling. Auburn was such a square play, and I fell right in. Bo Nix had been playing pretty well this season, but hoo boy did he look like a true freshman in Gainesville. I am convinced that Auburn would have won if Florida hadn’t installed a turf monster that prevented a fat guy touchdown in the second quarter. Oh well.
Last week: 7-8
Season Total: 44-43-3
- stewak: 1-3 (but at least the Huskies won, right? RIGHT??!!) Sorry, I had to.
- 89Coug in FL: 2-11 (please do not let this dissuade you!)
- .:R: 3-4
- 425CougFan: 6-8
Let’s go, an hope we win one more than we lose.
Colorado Buffaloes at Oregon Ducks (-21): Okay, Oregon, that’s it. I trusted you to hammer a Cal team with 10 players on offense last week, and you trailed at halftime! Now you face a better-than-terrible Colorado team, with Washington on the horizon. I think you’ll win easily, but I can see the Buffs kicking in the back door.
The Pick: Buffs / Over 58.5
Washington State Cougars at Arizona State Sun Devils (PK): This game opened at ASU -1 because I guess the oddsmakers haven’t seen one minute of WSU playing defense this season. It got all the way to ASU -3, and has now gone the other way, down to a pick ‘em! This despite the fact that 67% of the spread money and 76% of the money line money is on ASU. WHAT IS GOING ON?! Somebody knows something. That somebody is a moron.
The Pick: ASU
Utah Utes (-13) at Oregon State Beavers: Listen Beavs, I give you much respect for going to LA and dominating UCLA, even though the Bruins were without their starting quarterback. You deserved a nice weekend, and you did something our beloved Cougs couldn’t - beat the Pac-12’s worst team. That doesn’t mean you get two in a row.
The Pick: Utah
Washington Huskies (-6) at Arizona Wildcats: Poor old Washington, going back on the road after getting dominated by Stanford’s scout team, and having to face Khalil Tate and the red hot Wildcats. I didn’t realize until I heard it on a podcast that Arizona hasn’t lost since Hawaii. Everything points to the ‘Cats pulling the upset over Washington, who is dreadful as a big road favorite. When the Huskies zig, the Gamble-Tron zags (while hoping Washington gets its ass kicked).
The Pick: OKGs and this is definitely not a reverse jinx I totally think Washington will blow them out why are you laughing?
USC Trojans at Notre Dame Fighting Irish (-10.5): Don’t do it. Don’t you dare do it! I’m doing it.
The Pick: USC
Louisiana Monroe Warhawks at Texas State SomethingOrOthers (+3): Let’s go Fun-Roe!
The Pick: Warhawks
Iowa State Cyclones at West Virginia Mountaineers (+10): ISU is way better then West Virginia. Way better.
The Pick: Clowns
Ole Miss Rebels (+12.5) at Missouri Tigers: Going with my man Chris “The Bear” Fallica here.
The Pick: Rebs
South Carolina Gamecocks at Georgia Bulldogs (-23.5): Georgia should end this one early.
The Pick: Hunker down you hairy Dawgs!
UNC Charlotte 49ers (+5.5) at Florida International Panthers: The NFL 49ers are pretty good, so the college team should be pretty good too, right?
The Pick: Charlotte
BYU Cougars at South Florida Bulls (+5): BYU finally got a week off after a rough opening schedule, while South Florida remains awful
The Pick: Second-rate Cougars
Penn State Nittany Lions at Iowa Hawkeyes (Total = 42.5): These teams give up a combined 16 points per game. Six-teen.
The Pick: Under
First half picks sure to go wrong:
Mississippi State Bulldogs at Tennessee Volunteers (+4): While there will rarely ever be tears as tasty as Voluntears, we think they can keep it close for a while.
The Pick: Tennessee
Florida Gators at LSU Tigers (-7): Tough to see the Gators storming out of the gates after that huge win in Gainesville last week.
The Pick: Da Coach O