You’re welcome, folks. Y’all know full well what I mean. We’ve almost certainly been making you a handsome profit this season, because you’re all intelligent enough to know that our picks are such lead pipe losers that you can make gobs of cash by betting the other side. It’s the surest thing in sports! Then again, you’re clicking on this article presumably without a gun to your head, so how smart can you really be?
Last year was the exact opposite. We picked winners at a 56% clip, which is pretty darn good. So of course this year, regression to the mean is hitting like one of those bomb cyclone things I see on the news but only when it threatens an East Coast city. We’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating. Last season, we seemed to get all the breaks en route to banking some serious (fake) money. This year we’ve lost close, we’ve lost medium and we’ve lost big. Really, really big.
But that can not deter us from pressing forward. After all, between holding a full time job, shuttling kids to football practice and Scouts, and doing work for two master’s classes, we see no point in being able to relax for 30 minutes on any given weeknight, so why not pick games that will lose a bunch of pretend money!?
Why I love gambling: The USC injury list was so long that I thought they might try and bring Ricky Ervins (look him up, kids) back to run the ball. And play defense. And maybe punt. Even though Colorado looked like garbage in Pullman, they always seem to play SC tough at home. And I’m pretty sure this was the first Friday game I won all season. Luckily that opening win portended /checks notes...nothing but sadness going forward. Yippee.
Why I hate gambling: When I saw that App State won by 27, I thought for sure that they covered the first half line of -13.5. Turns out the halftime score was, you guessed it, 13 to motherf***ing nothing. Pass the strychnine.
Last Week: 6-13
Season Total: 68-80-3
Reader Results: Love the participation this week!
- pf_flyer: 3-8
- BothwaysUphill: 4-3
- 89Coug in FL: 3-5
- Dr.Coug-A-Lot: 1-6
- WSUCougars’01: 2-8 (Welcome anyway!)
- .:R: 2-5
- 425CougFan: 6-8(?)
- TheOriginalCougMan: 2-3
- NWFlyfishing: 3-2
- stewak: 3-2
- bburn33: 3-7
The Pick: Southern Cal
Colorado Buffaloes at UCLA Bruins (-7): Ok, I realize that I’ve seen precisely zero seconds of UCLA since, well, moving right along. But while they are definitely getting better, I just can’t bring myself to give an entire touchdown to anybody.
The Pick: Buffs
The Pick: Beavs / Over 70.5
The Pick: Washington
The Pick: Zoomies
UTEP Miners at North Texas Mean Green (-23): No hunches or anything but I think UTEP is still terrible and North Texas doesn’t suck that badly. Sure thing here, folks.
The Pick: UNT
Kansas State Wildcats at Kansas Jayhawks (+5.5): Kind of a prime letdown spot for both teams! Kansas State pulled off one of its biggest upsets ever, while Kansas, well, let’s just go to the tape, shall we?
Next time you’re lamenting another gut-wrenching Cougar loss, or another inevitable Apple Cup curb-stomping, just play that clip a few times and you’ll realize that somebody always has it worse.
What? Oh yeah. Take KSU and lay the points.
First Half Lines Sure to go Wrong:
The Pick: Mullets
The Pick: Boise Junior College