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Ranking coaches is very subjective, so let’s do it differently!

NCAA Football: Washington State at Washington Jennifer Buchanan-USA TODAY Sports

Good morning Coug fans. It’s nearly officially summer, although it’s felt like summer all week around these parts. This all means, of course, that it’s the perfect time for some listicles and #content that is easy to reach your word count.

By that I mean, among many things, conference head coach rankings!

CBS Sports is going conference by conference ranking the coaches using some methodology that will likely be different from yours, which is probably different from mine, which in turn is probably different from the athletic directors around the country. This is all by design, of course.

Yesterday was the Pac-12’s turn. Chris Petersen is no. 1 on the CBS list, which is to be expected. David Shaw ranks high as well. Chip Kelly’s ranking is interesting and seems like it all stems from what he did at Oregon way back when. Kyle Whittingham has the Utah Utes consistently competitive, but his longevity seems to work in his favor on the list. Remember, he coached in the Mountain West for a while before jumping to the Pac-12. That’s one way to pad your stats.

Mike Leach comes in at no. 5, and while there’s probably a good argument to rank him higher, I’m not all that worked up about it. I find it difficult to get fired up about a list without any caveats. Guys like Mel Tucker get the shaft because they’ve never been a college head coach, and Jonathan Smith and others only have one year under their belts.

So, with that in mind, here’s my list, based solely on how much I’d like to have a beer with them. Cheers!

  1. Mike Leach: Duh.
  2. Mario Cristobal: High-energy, and in a good way if you’re going to be a drinking buddy. Plus, I can roast him for Oregon losing to WSU four straight seasons. Sure, he wasn’t there for all of them, but who cares.
  3. Clay Helton: He’d spill his guts about how troubled he is at USC and I will savor every minute.
  4. Jonathan Smith: Nobody would know who he is so we could do what we want without seeing ourselves on TMZ the next week.
  5. Mel Tucker: Don’t know anything about him, so it’d be a getting-to-know-you session. Plus, I like his name.
  6. Kevin Sumlin: Tales from his WSU days would last all night but he seems kind of boring too, so.
  7. David Shaw: Also boring.
  8. Justin Wilcox: I guess he could tell me what it’s like at crazy Berkeley, but not much else to talk about other than his crummy QB play.
  9. Herm Edwards: I wouldn’t be able to get a word in so I’d probably leave a half hour into the hang out and he wouldn’t have a clue because he’d still be talking for another 45 minutes.
  10. Chip Kelly: He seems miserable.
  11. Kyle Whittingham: I don’t think he even drinks.
  12. Chris Petersen: Would probably drink a Zima that some UW booster saved for him.

OK, how’d you rank them?


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