Welcome to Hotel Beasley: WSU vs UCLA

Good morning, and happy New Year sports fans! Last night our Washington State Cougars battled it out against the University of Southern California Trojans, and tomorrow we go head to head with the University of California, Los Angeles Bruins. Exciting stuff. There is a much more comprehensive recap of USC here- and as for UCLA, here’s a peek at what they bring to the table.

I would like to point out that both teams play (or, played) in Pullman, and with the new beer and wine amenities I hope fans are spoiled accordingly. Which is why the theme of today’s article is Hotel California- or rather, Hotel Beasley. I can’t promise any pink champagne on ice, but I can promise some wonderful additional adult beverages.

Yesterday, the Bruins went up against the Huskies, with UCLA scraping by to win 66-64. It’s USC’s turn to take on the Huskies on Sunday. I assume this is the smoothest way to make way through the conference schedule, keeping everyone in the same state as long as possible.

I have drawn up some names you should know while watching UCLA. I won’t lie to you, they have some height. Alex Olesinski (Forward) is Polish and 6’10”- and both of his siblings played sports at the Air Force Academy.

You remember them, right? We’re familiar with one specific team of theirs, but if the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, he is a forward I’m not looking forward to. I would feel remiss if I didn't at least try to squeeze a pun in there. That’s my first and last forward pun of the season, I’ll try to center myself better next time.

All right, next.

Cody Riley is also very tall — 6-foot-9. Three-pointers aren’t exactly his specialty, so as long as someone ties his shoelaces together at half court we should be fine! He also has a career average of roughly 51% of his free throw attempts, so if we have to foul someone he seems like he could be a safe bet.

Chris Smith is 6-9 and has only made 30.8% of his 3-pointers, so in order to keep him away from the basket I suggest again that shoelace-together method. If that doesn’t work, I get it, but I’m just suggesting an objective to keep in mind.

Jalen Hill is really good at rebounds, which makes sense because he is 6-10, allegedly. There’s a handful of 6-9 or 6-10 players and I would love to assess the accuracy of this. Please tweet me the results if you are able to go to the game.

There are plenty more players, but these guys in particular could for sure dunk on me. Actually, I think most basketball players in existence could. For the record, I am 5-11, but I am staggeringly untalented when it comes to basketball.

In summary, I should mention that we are also pretty good. I am not worried about this team, which is new. And exciting! Let’s lean into it. So, teams from Southern California, I say to you:

Welcome to the Hotel Beasley

Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)

Such a lovely facility.

Plenty of room at the Hotel Beasley

Any time of year (October through April) you can find us here.

Go Cougs!

Time for links

Season check-in: Breaking down recent struggles for women’s basketball
After two of the better performances of the season, No. 5 Stanford regressed with a disappointing road hiccup in Austin and a too-close-for-comfort showing…

Okongwu scores 27, USC handles WSU Cougars 65-56
Onyeka Okongwu scored 27 points and grabbed 12 rebounds to lead Southern California to a 65-56 victory over WSU in the Pac-12 opener.

UCLA looks to extend streak vs Washington St. | FOX Sports
UCLA looks for its sixth straight win in the head-to-head series over Washington State

Gamecocks jump in on fast rising senior corner
Rakestraw is rated a 3-star prospect by the 247Sports composite

Area Sports Menu for Friday, January 3 | The Spokesman-Review
Todays menu

Washington State on tap for women’s basketball
Stanford women’s basketball (11-1, 0-0 Pac-12) begins conference play at home on Friday against Washington State (7-6, 0-1 Pac-12).