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A study in Stanford

Since we’re all seeing more Zoom than we’d like

Oregon v Washington State Photo by William Mancebo/Getty Images

Good morning, Coug fans! In the tune of 2020, it’s understandable if you’re feeling some whiplash from the past few days. On the one hand, WSU’s own CJ Elleby got tapped to Portland- which, understandably, I am beyond thrilled about. But we’ve suffered some COVID-19 related set backs, and some former Cougs are still (or newly) injured.

With the game against Stanford approaching, and basketball coming up, I hope everyone is staying inside and watching Cougar sports!

Speaking of Stanford...

Last season I outlined some Stanford starters and what their major is. It was fun! This season, however, I’d like to take you through how I assume (key word is assume) the players are handling Zoom University at a school far more challenging than mine.

Simi Fehoko is a Junior wide receiver who majors in Communication. This is interesting, as the communication between him and the end zone is very fractured. I wonder if there’s a class in that. I assume Mr. Fehoko is probably through the hardest of his classes, but if I recall my own junior year, the slump is real.

Michael Wilson is another wide receiver who is majoring in Management Science and Engineering. After a quick google search, the key components to this major are:

  1. Depth in conceptual and analytical foundations
  2. Comprehensive coverage of functional areas of application
  3. Interaction with other Stanford departments, Silicon Valley industry, and organizations throughout the world.

I could see how this applies to football- however I’m not seeing too much depth in conceptual and analytical foundations in Wilson’s 95 yards total against Colorado. I however cannot speculate how this major is handling Zoom University, as my own laptop is beginning to have a panic attack at the mere googling of what the classes consist of.

(If you’re reading this Dad, I’m kidding. My laptop is fine.)

Stanford’s touchdowns have largely come from running back Austin Jones, who has yet to declare a major. I assume he’s taking the route of exploring lots of classes, and since his longest rush is a 17 yarder, this tells me he’s just looking for the quick way out. Sophomore year was not incredibly challenging for me, but again I go to glorified clown school, literally.

Davis Mills did not play against Oregon, but he did play against Colorado. A senior Science, Tech and Society major, I assume he’s probably at the fun classes by now. He’s got a 55.4% completion rate, which as any senior knows, if you’re currently pulling a 55%, assuming the final is worth 20% of the grade, you’re going to need at least a 130% if you want to pass the class. Or, in Mills case, pass the ball.

This was fun, I hope you enjoyed too. I’m not sure what tomorrow is going to look like, but as always- stay safe and hydrated, and Go Cougs!


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