Greetings. We here at Gamble-Tron HQ hope you and yours had a happy and super spreader-free Thanksgiving. Per German law, our wagering family of four met with one other family for the occasion, and a good time was had by all, mostly because the other family has a Wii with Mario Kart. But while we decided to stay away from NFL picks on Turkey Day, we jumped back in head-first on Friday, and what resulted was on par with a Festivus miracle.
Why is that? Well, for one thing, our picks went 4-0, meaning that we ended Friday with a lot more money than the amount with which we started! (Aside: whomever is behind the grammar on the sign in the cover photo should never work in the industry again).
After last week’s disappointing record, in which we would have broke even were it not for propaganda-loving Mike Gundy and his idiotic goal line play-calling, we needed a solid start to the weekend. The gambling gods delivered. After we started off by cashing in on the Iowa-Nebraska Under 53.5, we tweeted out the following:
1-0!— PJ Kendall ✈ ⚰ (@Deathby105) November 27, 2020
Cal +2.5 Under 52 https://t.co/HyLCpPqBeS
Yours truly isn’t one to stay up until the wee hours of the morning unless required, so I watched the first half of Big Game, set the DVR to record the rivalry formerly known as the Civil War and hit the sack. Saturday morning around 0800, I fired up the recording, and saw that Stanford led Cal 24-17. “Oh well,” I thought, “at least the under should hit.” Next thing I saw was the final score: Stanford 24, Cal 23.
Yes! Double winner! I immediately gave Justin Wilcox credit for trying for two points and the win, assuming that was the only way the game could have ended with that score. Then the Ducks and Beavers went to halftime and here came the highlights. Turns out Stanford blocked the tying extra point! THIS SHALL GO DOWN AS THE GREATEST MOMENT IN GAMBLE-TRON HISTORY AND SHOULD BE IN THE HALL OF FAME! Why? Well, the extra point would have meant overtime, which put the spread at serious risk.
Also, with the total at 52, it almost certainly would have gone over. But for one fleeting moment, all was right with the Gamble-Tron’s markers. Then, to top it off, the Oregon State Beavers not only beat the point spread, they beat the Oregon Ducks outright! This clinched the “over” on their season total, so we really went 5-0 on Black Friday. THIS IS AMAZING I SHOULD STOP NOW. I can’t. I won’t.
Last Week: 6-8
This Week (so far): 4-0
Season Total: 31-29-1
COME ONE, COME ALL! IF YOU CALL MY 800-NUMBER NOW, THE FIRST PICK IS FREE OK ALL THE OTHER ONES ARE TOO WHICH MEANS I AM LITERALLY GIVING AWAY MONEY!
Arizona Wildcats at UCLA Bruins (-10): Is UCLA as as good as we saw last week? Probably not. Is Arizona as bad as we saw last week? Almost certainly.
The Pick: Bruins
Utah Utes at Washington Huskies (-7): The Pac-12 version of a shotgun wedding. If you saw Utah’s basket of quarterback deplorables last week, you know how this one is gonna go. Kind of a shame that the Huskies won’t be playing another team from Utah, because that team would beat them by two scores.
The Pick: Washington, Under 49
San Diego State Aztecs at Colorado Buffaloes (-3): Colorado has been a pleasant surprise, and this hastily arranged matchup provides an opportunity to bet against Brady Hoke. Sold!
The Pick: Buffs
Principle Plays of the Week
“Mike Leach in a rivalry game” principle: Ole Miss Rebels -8.5
“Northwestern Wildcats in a game that counts” principle: Under 41.5
“Kansas Jayhawks will always suck” principle: TCU Horned Frogs -24
“Win it for Darth Vader” principle: Alabama Crimson Tide -22.5 / Over 62.5
Additional Logs for the Fire Just Because
Baylor Bears vs. Kansas State Wildcats: Under 46.5
Clemson Tigers -22.5
Kent State Golden Flashes +8.5
Happy gambling weekend after Thanksgiving!
But what about those TallySight picks, you ask? Earth, we crashed back to it.