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Pac-12 Football Odds and Picks: The Gamble-Tron, Week Something

The weeks are all blending together at this point.

New York street scenes Photo by Robert Alexander/Getty Images

Welcome back. It says here that the college football season is almost over, which is tough to wrap one’s head around since it just started. I know it’s been a common theme in the previous columns on this topic, but it the idea that it’s mid-December and WSU has played three games so far is something that we just can’t seem to rationalize. Maybe that’s why we got so fast and loose with the deluge of picks last week.

While we only made 11 picks in this space, we had a very itchy trigger finger shortly before the games started on Saturday.

First tweet: Yikes. For the record, we were on the right side of five of those. But try explaining to your bookie that you were on the “right side” even though you lost. So instead of 5-2, we went 2-5. Luckily we had some better luck on the chaser when we went 3-1, which almost never happens. We also took Virginia and laid the points when finding out that BC was down its starting quarterback and running back.

Looking back, it’s almost as if we’re throwing out extra picks in order to make up for the lost time of September and October. I mean, if we had been piling up picks all season, maybe we wouldn’t be tempted to throw so many logs on the fire in the season’s waning weeks. But we are where we are, and thanks to that late rally, things were looking up. All we needed to achieve another winning week was for the Cougs to cover a two-touchdown spread against USC. How’d that go? Uh, let’s just move on.

For the younger folks among you, that cover photo is what is known as a rotary phone. If you haven’t seen one, it’s how your grandparents sent “U up?” texts back in the day.

Last Week: 11-12

Season Total: 49-47-1

Arizona State Sun Devils (-11) at Arizona Wildcats: I’m still baffled at the fact that the referees just decided to call several “ineligible receiver down field” penalties on the Sun Devils last week, including one non-existent violation that may have cost them the game. If there’s one thing ASU has going for it this week, it’s the fact that Kevin “Dead Man Coaching” Sumlin and Arizona are on the other sideline.

The Pick: ASU

Stanford Cardinal (-3) at Oregon State Beavers: Indications are that OSU bell cow Jermar Jefferson will be back after missing last week. OSU should just hand him the ball every play and take its chances. While Davis Mills is nothing special, he’s probably a good bit better than whomever the Beavs are gonna roll out there.

The Pick: Cardinal

Utah Utes at Colorado Buffaloes (-2): Hard to believe we’re hearing arguments about how Colorado should be allowed to play for the Pac-12 title (they totally should) with a win, but here we are. If not for the fact that the Pac-12 is a national afterthought, they’d be a huge story. Either way, we hope they keep it going.

The Pick: Buffs

Washington Huskies at Oregon Ducks (-6.5): How powerful is COVID-19? Enough to overcome even the most sanctimonious of Husky fan douchebags.

Shot:

Chaser:

You’ll be pleased to know that Seattle’s version of Mike Greenberg totally owned his ass-hattery and fully apologized. Wait, he did none of that. Because of course he didn’t.

Good God what a hack.

The Pick: Contact Tracing (I was totally gonna take Washington but oh well)

USC Trojans (-2.5) at UCLA Bruins: This should be a helluva game. USC is much better now than it was during the first two weeks (especially when the opposing quarterback keeps throwing it the ball) and this is the best UCLA team Chip Kelly has had. That isn’t saying much, but still. This one will likely come down to the last possession or two, and the thought here is that somehow, some way, Clay Helton will avoid the executioner once again.

The Pick: Traveler

California Golden Bears (-2.5) at Washington State Cougars: Cal week! Who’s excited??!! Hello? Why is the room empty? I know things are about as different in 2020 than 2019 as humanly possible. But if WSU couldn’t beat Devon Modster, how can it expect to do any better against Chase Garbers? Cal has been getting better over the last few weeks. WSU...hasn’t. Add it all up and the result is eminently predictable.

The Pick: Cal

Auburn Tigers at Mississippi State Bulldogs (Total = 49.5): Shoulda had a winner in the Auburn under last week, but their defensive backs apparently prefer giving away opposing touchdowns than making game-clinching interceptions. Oh well, we’re diving back in this week.

The Pick: Under

Rice Owls at UAB Blazers (-7): The last time UAB played a game, kids were wishing they were out trink-or-treating and adults were wishing they could spend the night dressed like kids. In other words, it’s been a while. Since then, they had an off week, and then saw four straight games canceled. This week they face Rice, who is fresh off one of the season’s most stunning wins, as they shut out previously-unbeaten Marshall. For those two reasons, I suspect this line is a bit deflated, so I’m grabbing the value.

The Pick: UAB

Virginia Cavaliers at Virginia Tech Hokies (Total = 63): I don’t know, this just seems high.

The Pick: Under

Wake Forest Demon Deacons at Louisville Cardinals (-1.5): WAKEY LEAKS REVENGE GAME. If you don’t think Dave Clawson wants to murder Louisville every time he sees them, you are mistaken.

The Pick: Deacs

Late Add: Iowa +1.5

Still clinging to north of .500 on the TallySight picks. Barely!