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Hi.
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 13, 2020
You’re well aware by now that the Washington State Cougars did not play the California Golden Bears on Saturday afternoon, due to, well...
One positive test. One. https://t.co/bkzs5LhqwT
— John Canzano (@johncanzanobft) December 12, 2020
I mean, on the one hand, we didn’t have to sit through 210 minutes of pain, waiting to see what hideous Cal ending would befall us. On the other hand, it almost seems like just when we think we’ve reached the peak of Cal nonsense, the football gods find a way to double down. Such is life in 2020, I guess.
Athletic Director Patrick Chun was outwardly magnanimous and diplomatic as one would expect, but I’m guessing he and much of the rest of the athletic staff are pretty pissed off about how this went down.
Statement from Washington State Director of Athletics Pat Chun#GoCougs pic.twitter.com/6bjyWtqeCX
— Washington State Football (@WSUCougarFB) December 12, 2020
It all sucks. Sucks for the players and their families, sucks for the coaches and sucks for the fans. Nick Rolovich is going to end the most difficult year of his coaching career - past and future - having coached all of (hopefully!) four games. It can not be easy to keep these guys focused and motivated at this point, so hats off to Rolo and his staff.
So, now what? Apparently we can’t even get a good answer on that. The USC Trojans closed out the UCLA Bruins in dramatic fashion to improve to 5-0, meaning they’ll represent the Pac-12 South in the conference championship game. Who will they face? We don’t really know! It’s supposed to be the Washington Huskies, but they seem likely to cancel. The Oregon Ducks would take their place.
Regardless of their opponent, there is no Pac-12 North champion this season. There is only the least crappy team. So congrats on that, whoever gets to play USC. As for the rest of the games, those matchups should be set some time on Sunday, despite what formerly-credible clown prince of Pac-12 reporting would like to tell you.
Nevermind: The #Pac12 is NOT announcing the matchups tonight - they're coming out tomorrow. https://t.co/KytnVrDNDS
— Jon Wilner (@wilnerhotline) December 13, 2020
Good job, good effort.
The guess here is that WSU will playing the Stanford Vagabonds, as they continue their Pacific Northwest barnstorming tour. The hope? Well, the hope is that the Arizona Wildcats are on the docket, but god forbid we get what we want.
But even though we saw yet another WSU game get guillotined, there was lots more action on the college gridiron this weekend, so let’s make fun of all those who deserve it.
The Good
Football in the snow will never be anything but the best. First, from Boulder:
And just like that, @Utah_Football has retaken the lead! pic.twitter.com/JwUCKaOAzA
— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) December 12, 2020
Next, let’s go east to Laramie.
Current weather situation pic.twitter.com/kwZAJTX1dy
— Davis Potter (@DavisEPotter) December 13, 2020
Lastly, let’s take you to Iowa City, where my Iowa Hawkeyes won their sixth consecutive game and stocked the trophy case to the gills.
Everybody knows snow angels are for winners ❄️: pic.twitter.com/K3wzfrgZS0
— Iowa On BTN (@IowaOnBTN) December 13, 2020
While WSU’s spot in the rivalry trophy case sees nothing but dust, Iowa’s is home to the Cy-Hawk (Iowa State), Floyd of Rosedale (Minnesota), Heartland (Wisconsin) and Heroes (Nebraska). Not too shabby.
Congratulations to Sarah Fuller, the first female in history to score a point in a college football game. One thing I noticed, though: When Vanderbilt kicked a 39-yard field goal, it was someone named Pierson Cooke. Why didn’t Fuller kick it? Oh well.
Sarah Fuller, the first woman to play in a Power 5 college football game, just made her first career extra point. pic.twitter.com/6bJkX9722v
— Jordan Heck (@JordanHeckFF) December 12, 2020
There are kickout blocks, and there are KICKOUT BLOCKS.
YOU PULL TO KILL: pic.twitter.com/mFB8DqgKYT
— Coach Nasty Leonard (@CoachNastyTX) December 13, 2020
As great as that block was, it also provided another A-1 #pac12refs moment. Earlier in the game, they flagged a USC player for taunting when he stepped over an opponent. UCLA players does the same exact thing and...nada.
USC’s receivers are a cheat code.
Drake London juking defenders, breaking tacklers to the house! pic.twitter.com/O5tlfMK3kr
— ESPN College Football (@ESPNCFB) December 13, 2020
The most impressive part about that play was London losing the ball but regaining possession despite two UCLA players being right on top of him. Not to be outdone, Tyler Vaughns was up next.
Slovis to Vaughns Part 2. They can't be stopped pic.twitter.com/eQnuiP1Mjx
— Joe Broback (@joebroback) December 13, 2020
But anyway those were JV grabs compared to this one.
#Pac12afterdark pic.twitter.com/i1olBDApzS
— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) December 13, 2020
This is flat out amazing.
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 13, 2020
Trolling Nebraska and its snake oil salesman of an AD will always get props in this space.
https://t.co/kqOoPaNAJS pic.twitter.com/b13IerL2Al
— BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL (@edsbs) December 12, 2020
EDIT: Noooooooooo! They deleted it!
Luckily the internet never forgets.
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Those crafty cadets and their signs!
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 12, 2020
Possibly the greatest “no context” of all time:
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 13, 2020
It sucks that Arkansas was the latest Alabama murder victim, but let’s pour one out for the guy/gal with the keys to the Twitter account.
This is the final score tweet.
— Arkansas Razorback Football (@RazorbackFB) December 12, 2020
Arkansas: 3
Alabama: 52
The Bad
Stewart Mandel is a smart guy who graduated from Northwestern, where courses in science and logic are apparently not in the curriculum.
UCLA-USC is just one wild momentum swing after another.
— Stewart Mandel (@slmandel) December 13, 2020
SPECIAL TEAMS BUFFOONERY IS BACK!
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 13, 2020
I’ve watched 1000s of hours of college football in my life, but I have never seen this.
Here's something you don't see every day pic.twitter.com/mteVgJMTaS
— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) December 12, 2020
Turns out that’s a penalty! Not just any penalty, though. Wisconsin was awarded the ball at the spot of the foul. That seems overly punitive.
EVACUATE THE DANCE FLOOR! I’M INFECTED BY THE SOUND! (and my impending firing/buyout) BUT MOSTLY THE SOUND.
When you're either keeping your job or collecting one of the largest severance packages in college athletic history pic.twitter.com/6d4cVTpf01
— Alex Kirshner (@alex_kirshner) December 13, 2020
There were some sore punting legs in Iowa City on Saturday night.
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 12, 2020
Also from Iowa City, maybe let’s not pull this bush league garbage next time.
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 12, 2020
Later on, we saw Ihmir Smith-Marsette wearing a walking boot, the result of an ankle injury he sustained on that flip because just scoring a touchdown and celebrating with your teammates isn’t enough for some people.
The Ugly
I wasn’t involved in Navy’s game planning this week, but I’m going out on a limb and guessing that this isn’t how the coaches envisioned things going.
Army's Defense
— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) December 12, 2020
Points allowed: 0
Points scored: 2 pic.twitter.com/evIXJPqMBW
The 10th-ranked Miami Hurricanes were playing for a likely spot in the Orange Bowl on Saturday. All they needed was a win over the North Carolina Tar Heels. Let’s see how things played out.
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 13, 2020
Ok but Miami is pretty explosive, so they were able to keep it close despite the humiliating numbers on defense, right?
— Unnecessary Roughness (@UnnecRoughness) December 13, 2020
Oh.
Remember that Arkansas tweet above? That’s how you do it. This is not.
Kevin Sumlin fired.
— Unnecessary Roughness (@UnnecRoughness) December 12, 2020
Lasting memory is this deleted tweet. pic.twitter.com/DA2lAatqMK
As Sherwood said in our Slack, you gotta feel really bad for the poor player whose image was pasted next to that score. Hasty research indicated it is defensive back Lorenzo Burns. Regrettably, the tweet has since been deleted.
Let’s check in on the Mike Leach era at Mississippi State. How are things going in Starkville?
HAIL STATE @OldRowSportspic.twitter.com/sL0ClAqyvJ
— Unnecessary Roughness (@UnnecRoughness) December 13, 2020
The twerp in the black hoodie is lucky he escaped with his face intact. Meanwhile, Mississippi State’s head coach is taking the mounting losses and offensive ineptitude in stride like he always has.
Mike Leach going Mike Leach on me pic.twitter.com/8QtPzTyZOH
— Tyler Horka (@tbhorka) December 13, 2020
When you don’t want to answer questions about the garbage offense for which you are responsible, build a strawman at a reporter’s expense. So very #onbrand. In case you were wondering, Mississippi State owns the nation’s 117th-ranked scoring offense.
The Hilarious
You probably saw the highlights of the Florida player throwing an LSU player’s shoe, which handed the Tigers a first down and kept alive a drive that ended with the winning points for the heavy underdog Tigahs. The internet was ready and waiting for this moment. First up, let’s get the proper technical explanation.
This is definitely one way to ruin a season. pic.twitter.com/wnqe1lNbiR
— Funhouse (@BackAftaThis) December 13, 2020
By far, the greatest part of the announcement is when the referee specifies the distance that the shoe traveled. Like, would it have been a flag if the shoe had only gone 10 yards?
PFT guy has a point here, folks.
If Patrick Mahomes does this evereyone freaks out in amazement pic.twitter.com/BgYkBEq1MB
— ProFootballTeamCommenter(3-0 since week 10) (@PFTCommenter) December 13, 2020
Florida alumnus Spencer Hall was not about to be outdone.
— BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL (@edsbs) December 13, 2020
Finally, let’s have a look at the net result of this idiotic decision.
— Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz (@LeBatardShow) December 13, 2020
You have so much to be proud of, Florida Gators. Not only did you self-sabotage a chance to go to the CFP, you did it by losing as a 23.5-point favorite to an LSU team that gave up on the season weeks ago. Hell of a way to end 2020.
Football
'2020 football in a nutshell.' Washington State-Cal canceled 90 minutes before kickoff due to Golden Bears' COVID-19 issues | The Spokesman-Review
About 90 minutes before the Cougars and Golden Bears were supposed to kick off on a snowy afternoon in Pullman, the game was canceled due to Cal not meeting the minimum number of scholarship student-athletes available as a result of COVID-19.
John Blanchette: Washington State-Cal cancellation should be final act of Pac-12 season | The Spokesman-Review
On Friday, the conference will – COVID willing – stage its championship game, pitting South Division champ USC against North Division champ TBD.
This Week in Parenting
Got some great news late last week when we learned that the nine year-old’s school would be closed this upcoming week due to positive COVID tests. And by “great” I mean the exact opposite of that. Apparently the preceding nine months caught the school off guard, as they won’t be prepared to go to online learning until Wednesday. Incredible.
On the home front, the Christmas season is stressful for nearly all involved, and not even Charlie the Elf is immune.
Mrs. Kendall asked yours truly to move Charlie the Elf last night. The boys have expressed concern that Charlie has once again fallen off the wagon. pic.twitter.com/ElYfcJjXTC
— PJ Kendall ✈ ⚰ (@Deathby105) December 10, 2020
I had to go through a largely pointless Chem Warfare training class this week, which meant that I had to check out all kinds of gear in order to attend. Before I turned it back in, I mentioned to the boys that I had it in the car. They insisted on giving it a try.
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Never thought they’d be so thrilled to play a round of “How to Survive a Sarin Gas Attack” but here we are.
Beer
Best beer I had this week: A nice shipment of rare beers came from Omnipollo this week, and among them was Four Roses Barrel-Aged Coconut Stout. That’s a long way of saying “heaven in a bottle.”
Best Cities for Beer Drinkers - 2020 Edition - SmartAsset
SmartAsset found the best cities for beer drinkers by comparing cities across metrics related to breweries, bars and the cost of a pint.
Non-Sports
How Your Brain Tricks You Into Taking Risks During the Pandemic — ProPublica
Experts who study the way we think and make decisions say that it can be more than politics driving our decision-making this year. The unprecedented nature of the pandemic undermines how we process information and assess risk. Need proof? Look around.