Welcome back! How y’all doin?! Gamble-Tron HQ is fresh off the first snow of the year, during which school and work were on a two hour delay and a moment of panic set in when we realized that Mrs. Tron still has the summer tires on her car. Yes, over here you are mandated to have either all-season tires or two sets, one for summer and one for winter. It’s equal parts logical, sensible and annoying.
Luckily the cold and snowy weather hasn’t cooled off our picks. We’re coming off the best week of the season - I think - and are set to hand out more free money. I will admit, though, that it sure would be nice to see all of the games on the card actually take place. If your’re the Arizona State Sun Devils, it’s week two. Oregon Ducks? Week five! The Utah Utes have played two games (ok, 1.5) while their cross-state competitor BYU Cougars have played, uh, how many times?
Your Washington State Cougars? Week three. Watching the Cougs start the season but then hit the “pause” button for three weeks only to play on a Sunday is enough to make us throw our hands up in disgust and forget it all.
But that ain’t no fun, right Herm?
Hell naw. Let’s go.
Last Week: 11-6
Season Total: 38-35-1
Oregon State Beavers at Utah Utes (-11.5): At first, I looked at this line and thought, “Huh? Oregon State just beat its heavily-favored rival (what’s that like?) while the Utah Chokin’ Utes executed their bi-annual meltdown against Washington. This line is insane!” Then I remembered that semi-competent OSU quarterback Tristan Gebbia got injured at the same time #Pac12refs were trying to, uh, give an assist to the Ducks. OSU still has Jermar Jefferson, so let’s throw caution and Jake Bentley to the wind.
The Pick: Beavs
Colorado Buffaloes (-6.5) at Arizona Wildcats: I was all set to take the Wildcats at seven and-a-hook, but then one book slipped it under that key number, and that’s enough to make me hop the fence.
The Pick: Colorado
UCLA Bruins at Arizona State Sun Devils (-3): This line opened at ASU -6 and has since been cut in half. Lots of bettors are impressed by what Chuck Kelly has done with the Bruins this year, and I’ll admit they’ve looked much better than I anticipated. Is it a dead cat bounce? Probably. Meanwhile, Herm’s helmets are back after a monthlong absence. At least they’re well-rested!
The Pick: ASU
Stanford Cardinal at Washington Huskies (-11): Stanford was summarily kicked out of its locality due to county-induced COVID restrictions, apparently because David Shaw doesn’t hobnob at French Laundry with the right people. So the Cardinal players are pretty much the college version of musclebound vagabonds with high ACT scores. I should mention that they are also not good at football. Washington is pretty good at football, as long as the linesmen and Kyle Whittingham are involved.
The Pick: Washington
Oregon Ducks (-9.5) at California Golden Bears: No margin for error for the Ducks now after they kicked away that game in Corvallis. Another loss wraps up the division for Washington in advance of next week’s showdown, and the guess here is that Mario and that douchebag strength coach are making the players well aware of that fact.
The Pick: Oregon
Washington State Cougars at USC Trojans (-13.5): Before they went to Salt Lake and manhandled choking dog Utah, USC had looked anything but impressive this season. Both teams are coming off extended, and unexpected breaks. I foresee the Mongol hordes of USC receivers dominating on the outside, but I also think the Cougs can at least keep pace for a while, hopefully long enough to kick down the back door.
The Pick: Cougs
By the way, if all of these games go off, it will mark the first time this “season” that every Pac-12 team will have played on the same weekend. What a time to be alive.
Air Force Falcons (-11.5) at Utah State Aggies: There are few career arcs more baffling than that of Gary Andersen. He turns Utah State into a winner, gets a B1G job at Wisconsin, quits to take a job at Oregon State (wut) and then quits that job while nuking every bridge on the way out of town. After laying low for a bit he goes back to Logan and is out after starting his second season 0-3. Just bizarre. What’s that? Oh yeah, the game.
The Pick: Wild Blue Yonder
BYU Cougars (-10) at Coastal Carolina Chanticleers: If there’s one silver lining to this mushroom cloud of a season, it’s that ADs and schools have realized it’s possible to schedule a game that isn’t 10 years in the future. This one got the nod on roughly a day’s notice! And it’s a great matchup! Well, it is on paper. BYU is out to make a statement after playing a garbage (but admittedly lengthy) schedule.
The Pick: Second-class Cougs
Penn State Nittany Lions (-11.5) at Rutgers Scarlet Knights: I can’t be reading this right. Penn State has one win all season, over the trash heap winged helmets, while Rutgers has won two games, and legitimately could have won another two. And yet, it’s Rutgers who is catching north of 10 points? I have to be missing something. Regardless...
The Pick: SUNJ
Clemson Tigers (-22) and Virginia Tech Hokies: Clemson is still out to scorch every bit of earth on its way to the CFP. Next up, Blacksburg!
The Pick: Climpson
Ohio State Buckeyes (-23.5) at Michigan State Spartans: If this game actually takes place, look for the Buckeyes to try and cram two weeks’ worth of scoring into this one, before they turn toward Michigan and try to win by 500.
The Pick: OSU
The crash back to earth continued in the TallySight picks section last week. Thank god nobody is following my advice!