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Good morning. It’s almost June. There’s nothing going on in Cougar Sportsville, for many reasons. Theo Lawson wrote a thorough article on WSU’s pursuit of some Seattle-area receivers. It’s good and you should read it. To tell you the truth, I have a tough time caring at all about recruiting. I freely acknowledge how crucial it is (seriously it’s really important!), but I just don’t give much of a damn until a player is officially on the team. I like to think of it the same way I view trash collection. While I understand its importance to maintaining a healthy and civilized society, I don’t waste any time thinking about how a trash collector gets from the parking lot to my house and back.
Trash collection is also like recruiting in this way: As soon as it starts getting worse, we’ll all notice immediately.
Football
Great job by Theo Lawson for putting together a compelling story, but this is absolutely not happening. Go ahead and plan on WSU offering and getting a commitment from Shumpert, while the other two go elsewhere.
‘The Kennedy experience.’ Could Washington State land all three coveted WRs from 4A powerhouse in Seattle area? | The Spokesman-Review
Could that package land on WSU’s doorstep sometime soon? Don’t rule out the possibility just yet.
College Football Power Five Head Coach Hot Seat Rankings
He'll get the new head coach first year break.
This Week in Parenting
Saturday brought gloom and a forecast of rain, so I wanted to get out for a jog before the rain began. I told the boys to get ready to ride their bikes with me. “But we haven’t even eaten breakfast!” whined the oldest. That was followed by the youngest telling him, “this is what athletes do!” I don’t know if that’s true but it made me laugh because I am the antithesis of an athlete.
Earlier in the week, we were headed upstairs to help the kids put sheets back on their beds when Mrs. Kendall spotted the 8 year-old hastily stuffing something into a drawer near his bed. Further inspection revealed several chocolate candy wrappers.
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Doesn’t look like the face of an innocent person to me. Further interrogation revealed that he’d snuck it upstairs when a friend was over, and that it wasn’t part of some bigger cache of hoarded sweets. This was actually a bit disappointing, because of the conditions under which the theft took place. He made off with the candy while Mrs. Kendall had a few friends over, and wine may or may not have been involved.
I don’t know how things tend to unfold elsewhere, but around here, Mrs. Kendall and I will supply the kids with just about anything short of meth in order to keep them occupied while we take part in some precious conversation with other actual adults. I told him that all he had to do was ask her for some candy and she almost certainly would’ve relented. Instead, he chose poorly.
You suck if...
Been holding on to this segment for a while. Have you ever found yourself looking for a space in a crowded parking lot? Sure you have. You circle a few times, and just as you’re about to give up hope, you see tail lights. If it’s cold, you might see some exhaust. A gift from the parking gods! So you stop at a distance reasonable enough to let the person safely back out, and maybe you even turn on your blinker to indicate to others that you’re about to pull into a space.
Then, you wait. And wait. And wait. What could the issue be? Is this person having car trouble? Did I mistake them for someone who just pulled in to the space? Is something else wrong? Finally, you give up. As you slowly creep past, beginning your heretofore fruitless search anew, you notice that the person in question has started their car, and then pulled out their phone, into which they are now staring. Why? Well, because, you know, that Facebook feed is so goddamn important that it must come at the expense everyone else’s time and energy. They just can’t bear to go another five minutes without seeing Ariana Grande’s new TwitterInstaVineTok story, or whatever.
If you are one of those people who is so addicted to staring into that phone that you’re willing to do so at the expense of other people’s sanity, you effing suck. Stop sucking.
Stranger in a strange land
Heading on an outing today! Like, over an hour away from here! I have to use Waze and everything!
While they don’t celebrate Memorial Day over here in Deutschland, there is still an opportunity to outfit one’s Yankee meal with some local selections. For dinner, what could be more appetizing than some /checks box again, wiener art!
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I don’t know about you, but I prefer my wiener art in the xxl variety.
Need a side? How about some chips!
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When I think Rocky and Apollo, the first things that come to mind are “L.A. Burgers” and “Philly-style pizza.” Related - are German shoppers just now aware of this 80s movie series? Can’t wait for a few months from now when Ivan Drago appears on a bag of “Moscow nacho-style” chips.
How ‘bout some dessert!
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XXL Wiener Art followed by some Dickmann’s. Let’s eat!
Unsolicited Podcast Recommendation
If you haven’t listened to Michael Lewis’ first season of Against the Rules, what are you even doing with your life? Anyway, I was delighted to notice this week that Lewis is out with his second run of shows. Whereas the first season focused on referees (and was awesome, particularly the one about student loans), this one is all about coaches. The first two episodes are as great as I expected.
Dortmund Fan Since Forever
Two games, two wins, six goals for, no goals against! This is how it’ll always be, right? Right!!??
Halftime and @BlackYellow leads 1-0! Enjoying it with @PodvsEveryone and @CougCenter. Oh and this beer! pic.twitter.com/Wm5tk0gJwk
— PJ Kendall ✈ ⚰ (@Deathby105) May 23, 2020
Beer
Best beer I had this week: Found another online beer store last week (drikbeer.com), and my latest delivery included Even More Tennis Elbow from Hoof Hearted Brewing. It tasted extra great after the Dortmund win.
Using a Beer App To Track the Military and CIA | Untappd App
Users checking in with the app unknowingly shared location data, including trips to a secret CIA training facility.
Non-Sports
Dave Grohl: The Irreplaceable Thrill of the Rock Show - The Atlantic
I don’t know when it will be safe to sing arm in arm at the top of our lungs. But we will do it again, because we have to.