Quick Takeaways from WSU’s Spring Game

Good morning. Your Washington State Cougars held their (usually) annual “open to the public” spring scrimmage on Saturday, in front of a handful of invited guests and Pac-12 Network cameras. The spring game reminds me a lot of NFL preseason football. Nearly every year, people like yours truly eagerly anticipate the event because “it’s football in some form after the long offseason!” Then, just like NFL preseason, I watch 3-4 plays and think, “there has to be something better to do with my time.”

Judging by the goings-on in Martin Stadium, I suspect that many other fans felt the same way. Heck, even WSU’s own defensive coordinator admitted as much after the game.

“I’m not a spring game guy,” Dickert said. “I like when they’re over because everyone’s healthy, we’re ready to keep working.”

Even among college football coaches, I’m willing to bet that Dickert’s opinion is in the majority. The last thing they want to do is get guys hurt when the game doesn’t count. They especially don’t want to get guys hurt when playing under a scoring system that would make Dr. Frank Barney Gorton Stableford do a double take. The defense earns points for the other team scoring a field goal? Ok then.

So, what did we learn, if anything?

• We learned that, for whatever reason, several guys who will be counted on in the fall (such as nearly the entire starting defensive line) didn’t suit up.
• Unfortunately, we didn’t get a lot more clarity on the quarterback position. Senior transfer Jarrett Guarantano threw one pass and left with a hand injury, and Cammon Cooper didn’t do anything to stand out. Speaking of that one Guarantano pass, this Justus Rogers quote does not inspire confidence.

“That was an exciting play for me, especially being the first play,” Rogers said. “I just dropped to my landmark and read the quarterback’s eyes, melted flat and the ball came to me and I made that catch.”

Not good, Bob.

• We learned that, true to form, fans of the Tennessee Volunteers continue to be garbage humans who deserve their terrible program.
• We learned that the “Cowboy Snap Duel” should replace the coin toss in perpetuity.
• Freshman walk-on Kannon Katzer had himself quite a day, and hopefully he’s able to blossom into a real threat. (I just don’t want it to be this year because that probably means someone ahead of him got hurt)
• We learned that these two consecutive tweets may possibly be sending mixed messages.

• Finally, we learned that the most exciting plays of the afternoon probably occurred when the water balloons took center stage. If you’re a young person, you’re probably thinking, “what a great way to end the scrimmage.” If you’re old like me, you’re probably thinking, “ya know, there are a few poor souls that have to clean up every last bit of water balloon debris on that field.”

No word on which team was awarded more points during the fight, or if that factored into the final score.

The Cougars have two more practices before the spring session is in the rearview mirror.

Football

Defense generates four takeaways, overwhelms offense in Washington State spring game | The Spokesman-Review
“I think you would give it to the defense today, in terms of takeaways, scoreboard, consistent energy,” Rolovich said. “I think they played together, so they should feel good. They made a lot of football plays.”

Quarterback Jarrett Guarantano leaves Washington State spring game after one play | The Spokesman-Review
Guarantano, who’s expected to compete for the starting QB job this fall with redshirt junior Cammon Cooper and sophomore Jayden de Laura, didn’t return to the spring game after what appeared to be a hand or wrist injury.

Baseball

Cougs win! Hats off to pitcher Zane Mills, who went the distance in WSU’s 4-2 win. We haven’t seen many pitching duels this season, so it’s always nice when the Cougs are able to get a win without having to put up crooked numbers. The series finale is Sunday at 6 p.m.

Zane Mills Fires Complete Game Gem in Win at Cal - Washington State University Athletics Mills was at his best in the ninth, opening the inning with strikeouts, allowed a one-out walk but struck out the next two hitters to seal up the win.

This Week in Parenting

Mrs. Kendall forwarded this message to me the other day, courtesy of the 12 year-old’s baseball coach:

Saturday scrimmage: Have player at the field at 11:45 to get cage work, warm ups and putting on jersey. Game time 1300 will be over at 1600.

So if you’re scoring at home, coach “your kids are a bunch of coddled babies” has no issue sucking up nearly an entire Saturday for a scrimmage. If only the event had ended at 4 p.m. Nope, it ended at 5:20. This followed a Tuesday practice that ended at 8 p.m. when the coach said it would end at 7. It’s not so much the length of the practices, it’s that coach seems oblivious to the idea that people are trying to make plans around practice times, both on school nights and weekends. But college scholarships, or something.

The boys also informed me recently that April has been branded “Month of the Military Child.” My immediate reaction: I get one day a year, and you little bastards get an entire damn month??!!” (I may or may not have kept that to myself). In all seriousness, military brats have childhoods that are probably less common than most.

For example, before I was able to wrangle a fourth year in my current assignment, they had never lived in any one place for more than three years. At our last stop in Tampa, it was barely two. The nine year-old had moved three times before his seventh birthday. That makes it kind of difficult when trying to make and sustain friendships, and develop long-lasting roots with a school or community. And while most of us have an easy answer to the question, “Where are you from?” most military kids could give a few different answers.

On the other hand, they have been able to experience scores of different places and people, and living in different places - especially overseas - affords opportunities that most other kids their age will never have. As with everyone else, the pandemic has hamstrung us in terms of getting out and seeing more places and people, as well as their ability to visit grandparents (both here and in the US), which has been a bummer. But hey, when we move back in 2022, at least they’ll get to tell all their friends about the Ausfahrt.

Non-Sports

Does Covid Vaccine Cause Infertility? Facebook Still Letting Fake News Go Viral - Bloomberg
Mark Zuckerberg wanted to make his social network a reliable source about the pandemic. Instead he’s helped spread misinformation about vaccines causing infertility.

Afghanistan war veterans describe their pain as US troops prepare to leave
Former Air Force Technical Sgt. William Monahan counts several of his friends among the more than 2,400 service members who have died supporting operations in Afghanistan.