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What Your Favorite WSU Rival Says About You

We’re back to this format, we need laughter during times like these.

Jack Ellis/CougCenter

Good afternoon, Coug fans!

Well, here we are. Friday after a pretty rough one. My friend Nate already recapped it here in case you missed it. However! It’s a new day! Let’s try to laugh it off, shall we?

I’m using the term “rival” loosely, I know our Washington State Cougars only have official rivalries with UW and UO (kind of), but we all know certain schools bring up certain emotions, and if you’re like me, your anger isn’t exclusive!

If you love to hate Oregon State...
You might be the older sibling who watched your younger sibling get away with murder. If you were 45 seconds late for curfew, that would be the end of the world, but your sibling heads off to Vegas unannounced and comes back days later, with $3,000 in credit card debt and a misdemeanor charge for public urination? It’s fine! No worries! Somehow you wound up getting the hand-me-downs. How does that even work? You’ll never understand.

If Oregon really ruffles your feathers...
There was this one really insufferable kid at your high school, and for whatever reason he picked you to just drive absolutely nuts. He was somehow in all your classes, he found a way to turn your perfectly common last name into some dirty joke, and you just couldn’t escape him. That kid went to UO, and you’ve hated him and everyone like him ever since. Nine times out of ten you’re pretty level headed, but it just really gets your blood boiling thinking about how everyone else found UO’s humor “charming” when you think it’s just a bunch of- yeah. I’m mad on your behalf.

If Cal Bullshit hits you where it hurts...
You respect logic. You like rules. You use a planner, and you use it well. This hatred stems equally from the general chaos of the game (although we skated around a lot of it this year), and the chaos of the week in general. I have never had a normal week during Cal week one single time in my life. Even though you love structure, you’re a complex person, Cal Hater, and I see you. I respect you. I actually agree with you a lot of the time, and while this isn’t MY personal favorite to despise, it’s close. I think if I was a more organized person I might be here.

Dirty Rotten Utah Cheaters...
If this is your favorite “rival” from general past seasons or last night, I get that. It’s fresh right now. We aren’t responsible for our actions. Hating Utah is our own “Rory steals a boat” from Gilmore girls phase. You act a bit impulsively, you probably used SparkNotes a lot in high school and college, and you’re the friend that either Irish Goodbyes or runs away during parties. This is kind of the phase of life I’m in at the moment, so I sympathize! Let’s cause chaos together.

And finally...

If you’re always rocking the Dubs Down...
You are a Coug. While this one is the easiest and probably the most common, everyone has their own way of expressing disdain towards the team that is easiest to despise! If you hate the Huskies most of all, you were a pleasure to have in class. Or you were the class clown! You might not even be a Coug fan (I’ve tricked friends of other fan bases into reading these) but you’ve got the spirit. It’s like when the world came together to collectively hate the Astros, or when neighbors sang out in their yards during the earlier days of the pandemic. Hating University of Washington together is a beautiful thing, and an art form that lives on forever. It’s our Mona Lisa.

Are there any other schools you just can’t stand? Tell me about it! Let’s just be meanies today, we’ve earned it. Have a safe and happy Halloween!


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