Welcome back. We’re on the move soon, so we won’t waste much of your time. Well, I mean, we won’t waste as much of your time as we normally do. That’s because team Gamble-Tron has a sickeningly-early plane reservation this weekend, and we need to get some sleep. If that weren’t enough, we’re north, back to Spokane, when most sane people are headed south in an attempt to not freeze to death.
Things haven’t exactly been toasty here in Florida, either. Heck, we had to turn the heat on for the first time today! In mid-November! The horror! On the positive side, that means that we finally get to break out the leather flying jacket for work, and then substitute in the shelf full of hoodies after work, as well as the outside jogging sessions.
But while our bones are beginning to feel the chill, the picks had another week that’ll pay the heat bill, and we are thankful for that! So let’s continue to think warm thoughts for this week’s card, shall we?
Last Week: 10-5 (another late Under cashes!)
Season Total: 103-80
Best Call of the Weekend
Arizona State Sun Devils at Washington State Cougars (-8)
How long has it been since ASU and its terrible uniforms played in Pullman? The Sun Devils fired the coach on the sidelines that day, then fired the guy they hired to replace him, and now have a third guy! I mean that would be normal if this were Auburn, but anywhere else? Well, now that I think about it, WSU has gone through just as many coaches since then, although, both ASU coaches were fired for (mostly) on-field results, while WSU had a coach who left for the SEC and another who chose Q Anon over gainful employment. Oh, and WSU had an interim coach against ASU last year, while ASU has an interim against WSU this year. Ok this is getting kind of weird.
Where was I? Oh yeah. So ASU hasn’t been here in a bit, but I think WSU is getting more respect than it deserves, even after last week’s beatdown. Oh, and speaking of weather, bundle up if you’re going to this game, because yikes.
DevilsOh eff it. I’m tired of fading the Cougs, so don’t let me down, fellas. PLEASE WIN AND COVER BUT I’LL BE TOTALLY FINE IF YOU WIN AND DON’T COVER JUST PLEASE WIN. / Under 59.5
A daily double for the Cougs and that rare moment when flip-flopping paid off! Wooooo! Given the way the first half went, I’d actually have been seething with rage if the Cougs didn’t cover the 8. Thankfully, ASU’s interim coach had me in his thoughts, chasing two-pointers until the game ended.
Worst Call of the Weekend
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It’s a Daily Double!
Arizona Wildcats at UCLA Bruins (-19.5)
Arizona hits the road for a second straight week, this time to Los Angeles, where it needs to avoid a loss in order to maintain its bowl hopes. Not happening. Not with that terrible defense facing one of the best offenses in the conference. The fighting Fisches will have to wait at least one more year to go bowling again.
The Pick: UCLA
Liberty at UConn (+14)
I know Liberty is going on the road again after a huge win at Arkansas. And I know UConn is vastly improved this season. But Liberty should win this game by 30. It won’t, but it should.
The Pick: Hugh and his family values
Let’s see here, we took one team to cover three touchdowns, and another to cover two touchdowns. It would have been one thing if UCLA and Liberty had played closer-than-expected contests, or if one of them lost. Quite another that they both lost outright! Rather funny that Jim Mora’s current team pulled a huge upset to become bowl eligible (he should be the national coach of the year, seriously), while Mora’s former team crapped all over itself on the same day.
Gut Punch of the Weekend
North Carolina Tar Heels at Wake Forest Demon Deacons (UNC Team Total = 36.5)
So. Many. Points. We don’t know who will win, but there will almost certainly be points aplenty.
The Pick: Over
After scoring its fourth touchdown of the FIRST HALF, North Carolina’s kicker missed the PAT. No matter. All we needed was 10 second half points. Shouldn’t be too tough. In the second half, Carolina drove to the Wake Forest 27 yard line, where it faced 2nd-and-2. Then it faced 3rd-and-2. Then it faced 4th-and-2. Then Wake Forest had the ball. F**k. To start the fourth quarter, Carolina and 2nd-and-goal at the Wake 1 yard line. Then it had 3rd-and-goal at the Wake 1 yard line. Then it had 4th-and-goal at the Wake 1 yard line. Then Wake had the ball again. Two possessions later, Carolina had 1st-and-goal at the 5. Then it had 2nd-and-goal at the 11. Then it had 3rd-and-goal at the 16. Then it kicked a field goal to take a 2-point lead. Your final score from Winston Salem: North Carolina 36, Wake Forest 34.
The lesson, as always, is never gamble. Please read and heed.
All odds courtesy of DraftKings.
Washington State Cougars at Arizona Wildcats (+4.5)
I was rather shocked when WSU opened as a favorite, let alone with points north of a field goal. Road game against a dangerous opponent that still has a bowl season within reach, along with a solid - if knuckleheaded - quarterback and multiple receivers who should play in the NFL. Meanwhile, WSU’s offense is still far from consistent, and the defense hasn’t faced an attack like the one Arizona presents since early October. Gimme those points.
The Pick: Arizona
Oregon State Beavers at Arizona State Sun Devils (+8)
8? Seems like a lot. Glad we got it when it opened!
The Pick: See below. But for real we are strongly tempted to take both sides and root hard for OSU to win by 7. We aren’t that adventurous, though.
Stanford Cardinal at Cal Bears (-4.5)
Stanford is getting
less fewer, dammit, fewer(!!!) than 10 points? Come on. Plus, Cal will inevitably benefit from the dead cat bounce that always results when the head coach fires a bunch of assistants. Yeah, Justin, because those guys were the problem. What is a problem? The Stanford offense. And the Stanford defense. And, well, pretty much everything about Stanford.
The Pick: Cal / Stanford Team Total Under 20.5
USC Trojans at UCLA Bruins (+1.5)
Only a point-and-a-half? Glad we got this one before it fell!
The Gamble-Tron is on:— PJ Kendall ✈ ⚰ (@Deathby105) November 13, 2022
Oregon State -6
See you for the column! https://t.co/YpkJ0zP8jf
Colorado Buffaloes at Washington Huskies (-30.5)
Fade Colorado until proven wrong. Always and forever. USC hung a double nickel on the Buffaloes, and now they go back on the road against another offensive juggernaut? Yikes.
The Pick: Washington
Utah Utes at Oregon Ducks (+2)
It’s the battle of two teams that should have lost in Pullman! But seriously why can’t the Pac-12 have nice things? This line has moved significantly toward the Utes, as it opened Oregon -3. Hmm. What could the reason be? Is there some sort of quarterback injury situation? With these two teams, you never know! (we know)
The Pick: Utah / Under 61.5
Oklahoma State Cowboys at Oklahoma Sooners (-7.5)
Bedlam! One of the few rivalries more lopsided than the Apple Cup! I don’t care because the Sooners are hilariously terrible and I’m getting north of a touchdown!
The Pick: Former Aggies
Fresno State at Nevada (+22.5)
Purely a gut play. Fresno State is decent with Haener back, and Nevada is as bad as we thought it would be.
The Pick: FresYES
Ole Miss Rebels at Arkansas Razorbacks (Total = 65.5)
Everybody wants to get in, play for 2.8 hours, and get the hell out.
The Pick: Under
Baker’s dozen! Lucky 13! Let’s go! (inside because it’s f***ing freezing)
- Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.