Good morning, Coug fans!
First and foremost before we get silly, I want to express my deepest condolences for the recent tragedies in and around our little community. I just have no other words. Hug your loved ones and reach out if you need.
Pivoting entirely to our regularly scheduled ridiculousness, as casually as I can after that! It is very cold in Chicago. I am not loving it. I am also not loving this being the penultimate game of the regular football season! Time flies when you’re having fun (beating Wisconsin). It’s been quite a time, hasn’t it? No- no reminiscing yet, it’s not over!! We still have two more games. Let’s just get into the reason why we’re all here, shall we?
If you love All Crimson...
You are like a warm cup of hot cocoa after sledding all day. Maybe I’m just in the winter spirit, but this uniform combo just feels sturdy and cozy to me. If this is your favorite, you probably don’t have an excessive amount of clothes- I bet you prefer to have a few basic pieces that you can switch around. It’s more space conscious, way cheaper, and keeps the getting ready time in the morning down. You take your coffee with a splash of cream. You would get selected for Jury Duty, because they can tell how rational you are. But rational isn’t boring! Don’t let anyone make you feel boring. You are actually the backbone of society. I would vote for you.
If Crimson / White / Crimson makes your heart sing...
You aren’t afraid to go get the second cup of coffee at Starbucks after you’ve been sitting there for a while. I feel like it’s so weird to see people go up and get seconds, but not you. You do so without fear. I am actually trying to channel you right now. You are bold, you’re the friend who orders and locates the Ubers, and you are probably the best navigator. If you were placed in front of a bunch of kindergartners and asked to get them to focus on a task for 20 uninterrupted minutes, I bet you could. You aren’t afraid to tell the hairstylist if you don’t like your haircut. I want to be you when I grow up.
If you like Crimson / White / Anthracite...
You get straight to the point. If someone asked you to take the written exam of a drivers test, you would pass right away. I’m guessing you’re a Ravenclaw. You go down Wikipedia rabbit holes during the work day, but manage to get all your other tasks done at an impressive speed. You thought this article series was arbitrary at first, but now you kind of think I’m right? You prefer Seinfeld to Friends. If your friend wanted to go skydiving, you’d be right there- because why not? You only live once, so you might as well live it up. Controlled chaos is your bread and butter. I feel like you’d win the lottery, invest your winnings, and double it. While I have you here, can you explain a 401k to me?
If Gray / Crimson / Crimson is the one for you...
You are the person I want on my team if I’m entering a snowman making contest, a volleyball tournament, or a chess match. Whatever scenario we get ourselves into, you are a true companion. You’re always down for a good time. You’re kind of a Yes Man, but only because it keeps things interesting. You transition seamlessly from wild nights out to chill nights in. You wear pajama pants out in public but it’s fine, no one judges you for that. Everything that comes out of your mouth is a pleasant surprise. You’re the perfect balance between silly and rational. If I was having a full blown meltdown, you’d hand me a tissue, pat my back, and make me laugh. You’re a true friend, G/C/C!
If you like the Gray / Anthracite / Gray...
None of your friends are entirely sure what you do for your career, you aren’t mysterious per say- you just operate under the radar. You’re probably a little snarky! You’re very quick witted, and you’ve been told that you aren’t “haha” funny, but “ohhh, good one” funny. No one is quite sure of the distinction between the two, but you know. I bet you’re proficient in all the Microsoft products. This fact shouldn’t surprise people, but it does: you’re a really good gift giver! You always have these ambiguous Thursday night plans, it could be a secret high stakes poker game, it could be volunteering at your local Boys & Girls Club! No one knows. You don’t do nice things for clout. You pay it forward in the drive-thru. Your advice is always either totally unhinged or completely rational, it just depends whether you’re listening to the angel or devil on your shoulder. You are somehow both of those characters.
If I missed your combo, let me know! I hope you have an excellent day. Stay hydrated, stay cozy, let’s beat Arizona tomorrow! I love you!! Go Cougs say it back!!
The Cougars’ quick study | Sports | dnews.com
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