In a galaxy far, far away

Good morning, Coug fans!

Did everyone see those new Nasa pictures of space from last week? Pretty insane right? It has me thinking about how big the universe is, and how small we are, and how in this universe (and every universe, probably) I will actively choose to put so much emotional energy into sports programs at a college I did not attend. Here are some moments from this past season of Washington State sports that I believe happened in every version of every galaxy. Enjoy!

Will Burghardt’s epic 3-pointer on senior day
I am starting with this one for many reasons. Number one: hearing a full crowd chant “We want Burghardt!” and then watching him absolutely DRAIN a 3 on senior day was — without a doubt — the moment in my adult life that made me go, “Yeah, this is why I love sports.” I have never felt so together and united with total strangers more than in that moment. It was also the first WSU basketball game I got to go to, I was at my good friend Craig’s bachelor party, and it was one of the first games since Covid. Overall, the atmosphere was immaculate. And then we beat Oregon. Second of all: it was a big moment for Burghardt, as it was his first career points as a Coug. There is no universe where his first points weren’t that iconic, and on the off chance that there is, that is a very boring universe and I’m glad I don’t live there.

Soccer shutting out Montana during the college cup
This happens in every single reality. I do not make the rules in the grand scheme of things, but I make the rules for this article, and my word is final. A combined effort between Sydney Pulver, Grayson Lynch and Marin Whieldon’s goals each to take the Cougs to the next level? Shines across every possible universe.

40-13.
Yeah. Duh. I don’t need to elaborate, but I will: the Apple Cup trophy is back where it belongs. This was too monumental of a moment for me personally, as I actually had Husky fans to talk smack to for the first time. Plus, we grabbed it from the Dawg House. Also, so many Dubs down. When I’m having nightmares and cannot sleep, I think of this moment and am whisked away to a world that is peaceful and happy, and every day feels like the euphoria of waking up the morning after Thanksgiving, eating pumpkin pie for breakfast, and defeating the Huskies.

Michaela Bayerlova’s entire fifth season
I love her, first of all, and in every galaxy she defeats the 14th ranked player in the nation. It’s no secret that WSU Tennis lit up the school, and the season, this past year, and Bayerlova’s season in particular is a prominent star in our little galaxy. Her career at WSU is summed up by going 63-13 in singles, and 50-17 in doubles. In every galaxy she defeats UW in singles AND doubles (except one double game, but I’m okay with that one fading into the abyss). She is my champion forever.

WSU WBB making it to back to back nattys
I literally will not recognize the outcomes of either of these years, but in every galaxy we go dancing. This is not the only women’s basketball moment I’ll include, but it’s a big one. Fun personal anecdote, I was in a March Madness men’s tournament group two years in a row, and I won the pot both years, but I couldn’t bring myself to bet on the outcome of women’s ball. Why? I ethically could not map out a reality where my Cougs were not champions. While this will someday become this reality, I couldn’t fathom even for a second going against them.

Women’s basketball winning the Apple Cup
So, this too: we beat them in this and in everything in every galaxy. Winning the second game in Seattle marked WSU’s fourth straight win in the Dawg house for the first time in almost 50 years. This is a huge moment, again, for many reasons, but I just like naming every time we beat the Huskies that I can think of. Sue me.

I would include men’s basketball winning the Apple Cup too, but I’d like my perfect version of this galaxy that I’m reminiscing on to be one where Noah Williams doesn’t cross the state. No tea no shade!

There are obviously many, many more wonderful moments from last year, and going back down memory lane has been a cup of joy. I’m looking forward to more amazing moments from our Cougs this upcoming season. What are your moments? Go Cougs!