Good morning, Coug fans!
I would first like to begin by asking a very important question: You guys remember last week when we beat Wisconsin? Oh my god, how fun was that? That was so fun!! I haven’t had any time to head out and be a general menace to any Midwesterners, but rest assured I will handle our victory with all the humility and grace it warrants. I’ll let all of you, dear readers, interpret that how you will.
However! It’s a new week full of exciting opportunities. I will say, the upcoming opponent that our Washington State Cougars are facing off against tomorrow has me nostalgic for a very different time. We last played the Colorado State Rams in 2013 at the New Mexico Bowl, and while the score was nothing to write home about, our team at the time was filled with names like Gabe Marks, Connor Halliday, Andrew Furney, River Cracraft, Vince Mayle, Jeremiah Allison ... I could go on and on. Deone Bucannon, Destiny Vaeao, and of course: Renard Bell.
I’m kidding about the last one, but some other iconic Cougs were actually freshman during this season. It was the first time we had been bowl eligible since 2006!! With our latest few seasons, I feel like we all got used to almost expecting a bowl, so this was a nice reminder of where we came from.
I do not want a repeat of the score though.
Okay let’s get back to business! I sat down with my cup of coffee and thought about all the jokes I could make at Colorado State’s expense.
Then I checked their twitter. They are very into the term “Stalwart” - which I was unfamiliar with. Stalwart - adjective: loyal, reliable, and hardworking. Noun: a loyal, reliable, and hardworking supporter or participant in an organization or team. Colorado State defines the term as: being a Stalwart Ram means you know hard work, hustle, grit, and grind.
I also found the term in the United States Congressional Record, where they expressed hesitancy around the term — I quote from John D. White’s speech at the House of Representatives in 1882: “I will say to the gentleman from Pennsylvania [Mr. Bayne] that if by the term ‘stalwart’ he means a bolter, then I hope for the honor and dignity of our American form of government that this is not a ‘stalwart’ administration.” This quote is technically from the Appendix to the Congressional Record. White uses the term “bolter” to imply someone who ends their relationship with their political party.
Now, I know you might be thinking: Emma, why does this matter?
Well, funny enough, John D. White actually studied at the University of Michigan, who happened to crush Colorado State 51-7 for their opening game. It’s all connected.
Also the word ‘stalwart’ sounds like it should be the name of a really wise newt in a Disney movie who guides the beautiful fairy main character, for the sake of the article let’s name her Peony, as she navigates the dark fairy world to try to rescue her mother. Right? Like he wears glasses or a monocle, he’s got a little tweed coat but no pants. I’m onto something with this. I feel like he would say astute things like “Little Peony, let the light guide you” or “the road less traveled reaps many rewards” or “Go Cougs”.
Anyway. Opening joke on Colorado State’s football team is a quote from a congressman in the 1800s, starting off strong, no?
Colorado State to this day calls the New Mexico bowl a “highlight” game, which flatters me. I am touched by this. Aw, yeah, it was a big deal for you guys huh? That’s cute, it’s like when your younger cousin dresses up in one of your old soccer jerseys and puts on a show for the family. I don’t mean to tease too much, for fear of potential repercussions, but that is really sweet right?
All right I should probably wrap this up. I really hope we don’t fall into some sort of cocky, Wisconsin-upset-induced trance. Go Cougs!
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