Depending on how old you are, you may or may not recall the Washington State Cougars football season of 2005. It was a maddening season for us fans, as the Cougs would jump out to a lead nearly every week, only to stumble down the stretch and lose heartbreaker after heartbreaker.
The one exception to this was the Apple Cup.
But I (happily) digress.
Before that game, here’s a quick synopsis of the weekly ulcers Cougar fans suffered:
- Led Oregon State 30-13. Lost 44-33.
- Led #12 UCLA 38-21 in the fourth quarter. Lost 44-41 in overtime.
- Led Cal 38-28 in the fourth quarter. Lost 42-38.
- Led #11 Oregon 21-10 in the third quarter. Lost 34-31.
A fun season it was not! All because the Cougs couldn’t finish out games. We haven’t been able to verify the rumor that Bobby Ayala and Heathcliff Slocumb were on the staff that season.
So why did we make y’all re-live that? Because it’s what we felt like last week! Our Friday night went well enough with OK State winning outright and the Nebraska-Illinois total winning easily. 2-1 headed to Saturday!
And it continued! By the time UCLA closed out the Cougs (yes, I was sad, just like you), we were 6-3, only needing two more wins to have another profitable week. Then OSU and Cal started playing pinball. Then Colorado State started playing like it was 2022. Then USC...let’s just move along.
All of those Ls piled on top of each other, and before you knew it, we woke up to another losing weekend. But we will not be deterred.
We must do a better job when it comes to our finish! Hence, the article’s cover photo. If you don’t get the dad joke, I don’t feel like explaining it.
Last Week: 6-8 (Grrrrrr)
Season Total: 47-46
Best Call of the Week
We’re rather proud of ourselves for the Oklahoma State Friday night home dog principle. Although, we probably should have taken the money line, which was nearly 10 to 1!
Worst Call of the Week
Oh, I don’t know, everything after 3 o’clock? I mean, we only missed the Cal-OSU under BY 41 POINTS. USC? We knew better. Colorado? We also should have known better! Dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. Dumb.
Not as dumb as Mario Cristobal. But still pretty dumb!
Right Side, Wrong Result
We jumped on Purdue +4 at Iowa as soon as it opened. By game time, it was down to about +1.5, so we were feeling good. In the end, Purdue converted 3x as many third downs, had 50 more yards, had 21 first downs to Iowa’s 12, and held the ball for more than 35 minutes. Iowa completed six passes to TWO different players. The second leading receiver caught one pass! Not one wide receiver caught a ball! Iowa won by SIX POINTS! THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS!!! I AM YELLING!!!
Back to the well we go.
Arizona at WSU (-9.5)
We already weighed in via Twitter, but we’ll explain why. Arizona has three losses. Those losses are by seven at Mississippi State (as nine point dogs, in a game it could have won), by seven to Washington (as 19.5-point dogs), and by two in triple overtime to USC (as 21.5-point dogs). Arizona is really close, and it’s going to win at least one game it probably shouldn’t. I just hope that doesn’t happen this week.
The Gamble-Tron is forever a Coug, but 9.5 points seems like a lot! We're on Arizona +9.5 and hoping for a massive loss.— PJ Kendall ✈ ⚰ (@Deathby105) October 9, 2023
Stanford at Colorado (-12.5)
Buffaloes coach Deion Sanders is not a fan of late kicks. Not sure if y’all aware, but his nickname since his Florida State days has been “Prime Time.” Irony continues its descent into the grave.
Deion Sanders is not a fan of late kickoffs, or the fact they’re common in the Pac-12.— The Athletic (@TheAthletic) October 11, 2023
“Thank God we’re not going to be in this conference... who makes these 8 o’clock games?"
More on what he said ⤵️
Um, Deion? What time do you think you’re gonna be playing next season? I’ll clue you in - a lot of your games will be at night! I try to give Deion the benefit of the doubt at nearly every turn. But my god, what a moron.
As for the game, Colorado has played one-score games in every win but one, and that was when Nebraska kept handing it the ball. Stanford stinks, but it’s had a week off. I don’t know, but that’s a lot of points.
The Pick: Stanford
Cal at Utah (-10.5)
You’ll be stunned to learn that Kyle Whittingham has been rather untruthful about the severity of Cam Rising’s injury, and the associated recovery period. Utah also had the week off, and the theory here is that Cal is in over its head.
The Pick: Utah
Oregon at Washington (-3)
Classic Vegas here. “We have no idea what to do or which team is better so home team -3 it is! Guess what, we don’t have any idea either! Washington is hosting what used to be a credible pregame show for the third time. In the previous two, the road team won. Seems like a trend! We’re steering into the skid.
The Pick: Washington
USC at Notre Dame (-3)
Poor little USC. It keeps winning games and losing in the polls. Lincoln Riley has been forced to defend his garbage defense and its upward failing coordinator ad nauseam over the last couple weeks. Now it has to go on the road and face a bitter rival. Everything is against the Trojans. How will they ever compete??!!
The Pick(s): USC, Under 60.5
UCLA at Oregon State (-4.5)
While both teams have strong rushing attacks, this one will probably hinge on which average quarterback can out-do the other. This is probably some recency bias, but 4.5 seems like a lot with UCLA’s defense.
The Pick(s): UCLA, OSU team total under 29.5
Other Games of Note
Iowa at Wisconsin (Total = 35)
Past three totals in this series: 34, 34, 35.
The Pick: Under #PrinciplePlay
Auburn at LSU (-10.5)
Team Gamble-Tron attended this game way back in the day. There wasn’t nearly as much offense as there should be in this one, at least on LSU’s side.
The Pick: Geaux Tigahs
Syracuse at Florida State (-18.5)
The ‘Noles haven’t been very impressive of late. This should present a “get well” opportunity.”
The Pick: FSU
Why on earth is TCU giving a touchdown to anybody in the Power Five. Also, BYU?
The Pick: Blue Cougars
Kansas at Oklahoma State (+3)
I think the Pokes have found something now that they’ve settled on one quarterback.
The Pick: Newsmax Junior
Georgia at Vanderbilt (+32.5)
Probably a “name your score” situation.
The Pick: UGa
GONNA BE SOME BAD WEATHER IN THE UPPER MIDWEST
Ohio at Northern Illinois Under 45
Akron at Central Michigan Under 43.5
Navy at Charlotte Under 44.5