Hi. Team ‘Tron is in Kihei, Maui. We hung out at the beach for much of the lunch period and then ventured to Waikiki Brewing South for a Jalapeño Mouth Amber, which was tremendous. This place is so great that not even another Coug loss can hurt us. A Coug win will also be ok, but a Coug win followed by an immediate “we were one win from a bowl and lost to Stanford FML” feeling also can not hurt us, mostly because WSU sucks in bowl games anyway, so what’s the point?
What I’m saying is I have no motivation to write a preamble that you don’t read to an article that you also don’t read.
Last Week: 9-8 (lame)
Season Total: 96-75-2
Best Call of the Week
We kinda knew that Michigan would not be in the mood for BS on Saturday. We also knew that the Penn State defense is pretty damn good, which made it seem like a solid idea to lay the five and plan on a low-scoring affair. Done and done! Michigan ran the ball more times than a service academy, and Drew Allar remained his largely feckless self. All hail, the two-fer! We’re also rather proud of fading the absurd point total in Oregon-USC, and that one came home easily. So easily that we could have used some more Duck points dammit!
Worst Calls of the Week
Last Saturday was littered with dumb gambling decisions on our part. We had the under 48 in Minnesota-Purdue. They scored more than Oregon and USC, by a lot. We thought UCLA could cover 17, at home, against two-win ASU. We were off by four touchdowns. We thought Stanford-OSU would stay under 53.5. OSU scored 62 on its own. We fell for the sucker line of the week, as Oklahoma State...ok, let’s just move on.
Never Again, Part Two
It began with USC, who burned us over and over (and did again when we took Oregon! RAGE!!). It continues with Air Force, who we’ve taken as double digit favorites two weeks in a row, only to watch it lose outright, two weeks in a row. Never. Again.
Colorado at WSU (-4.5)
I...I just...what the hell is going on with the odds-makers?
If you went legal limit on Stanford +14 at WSU, like I advised, do it again on Colorado +6. WSU hasn't beaten an FBS opponent (let alone covered the spread) as a favorite since the opener. https://t.co/CfZcmqBPdH— PJ Kendall ✈ ⚰ (@Deathby105) November 12, 2023
WSU keeps laying points. WSU keeps losing. What is it going to take?
The Pick: Well, the real winners are those of you who stay home, but we’re on Colorado +6
BONUS PICK: Colorado Team Total touchdowns Over 3.5 (+105)
Utah at Arizona (-1)
Utes coming off an emotionally-draining road game they probably should have won, now going back out on the road to face the hottest team in the Pac-12. You do the math.
The Pick: World’s worst accountants (non-DC edition)
UCLA at USC (-6.5)
Chip is going to get fired. I like USC. AND YET, never again.
The Pick: Chip’s Magnum Opus
Oregon at Arizona State (+23)
Kenny Dillingham coached at Oregon last season, and it’s almost certain that he and Dan Lanning are close enough that Lanning doesn’t intend to embarrass the Sun Devils. But the Ducks are also still angling for style points.
The Pick: Oregon
Cal at Stanford (+6.5)
Cal sucks. Stanford sucks a lot more, especially at home. #math
The Pick: Cal
Washington at Oregon State (-2)
Hang on, I can get points with the team that’s playing for a conference title and a spot in the CFP? Against a team that lost to WSU? For real? This is madness.
The Pick: Washington
Other Games of Note
Louisville (PK) over Miami
Maryland Team Total Under 14.5
Oklahoma State -6
Missouri-Florida Over 57.5
Fresno State -23
Sicko Mode Plays of the Week
Florida State -41.5
Ole Miss team Total Over 49.5
Happy Gambling. Go Cougs. Whatever.