Mike Leach joins the ESPN 'car wash'

The most interesting man in college football, Michael Charles Leach, has spent his last couple of days strolling through the ESPN headquarters as part of the Pac-12 coaches "car wash," during which each coach tours the various shows around Bristol, Conn. to preview his team's upcoming season with an on-air talent.

First, there was this...

Best part of day: listening to Mike Leach talk about Kardashians, Las Vegas buffets, 64-team playoff & inflated footballs

— Brett McMurphy (@McMurphyESPN) July 29, 2015

And then this...

Mike Leach sees woman at ESPN wearing eye patch for medical reasons. Leach: "Oh, you got the pirate thing going on?"

— Brett McMurphy (@McMurphyESPN) July 29, 2015

Needless to say, there is never a dull moment when Mike Leach is in the building.

Leach is understandably excited about his defensive unit in 2015, when asked about it in the first video. The Cougars had one of the worst passing defenses in all of college football last season, something he hopes to improve on this season with new defensive coordinator Alex Grinch at the helm. On the offensive side of things, Leach fails to name a starting quarterback but pulls Luke Falk's in-game statistics out of of the back of his pocket like it's nothing and compares Peyton Bender to stoner Jeff Spicoli from the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High. (The ESPN embed that should follow this paragraph is hit-and-miss -- you can watch it here.)

Remember that presser Leach gave last season where he claimed that texting would cause humans to "go extinct and die out?" Of course you do, it was one of the (lone) highlights for 2014 Washington State football. Well, he's back at it. Leach continues his rant regarding how online interactions and cell-phone texting will cause the end of humanity, along with his opinion on online dating and why presidential candidate Donald Trump is gaining momentum heading into the election year.

Never change, Mike Leach. Never change.