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WSU vs. Rutgers football: The beer of the game is not a beer

This is a bad joke article. Don't drink this.


Baxter the beer-reviewing dog is out this week, spending time with the girlfriend' parents as we head out of town. Without him, I soon realized I am ill-equipped to select a proper beer of the game.

Normally, Bax might suggest some sort of beer that implies being at (or below) rock bottom after the Portland State loss. But without his guidance, I just couldn't figure out a good beer that fit that bill.

However, all is not lost. I believe I have the perfect beverage for Cougar football's current state: Bleach.

This particularly variety has been aged over a year in a plastic container. I would suggest this, as it takes some of the heat away and gives you nice rubbery mouthfeel. I went with the name-brand Clorox, but unlike beer, there is no need to go fancy with your bleach. Any old discount-brand will give you that same burn, and horrible side effects.

Craig's review: Back when I was three years old or so, I vaguely remember opening up my parents' bathroom cabinet and taking a swig of a pretty greenish liquid. It burned, did not taste good, and my mom freaked out. She called poison control, so I recommend having that number handy. Unless you want the full side effects listed on the bottle, because in that case just let it ride.

NOTE: Do not drink bleach, please. It is bad for you, that's why they put those "Yuck" stickers on it, probably.

I will say, if the Cougs do pull out the win, I am in California so I will probably enjoy one of the Modern Times beers I have procured this week. If you are in San Diego, drink Modern Times. It is delicious. Definitely better than bleach. This is the best endorsement for any product ever.